Somb Brero

ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴏᴡʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴ ᴇᴀʀʟʏ ʙɪʀᴅ. sᴏ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴡɪsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴍs.

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

i feel like there is a group of girl scouts camping out in my uterus and they all have a sugar rush from their amazing cookies, as they run around playing tag and scream kookaburra sits in the old gum tree and i’m just here, crying. #PeriodProblems

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

it is truly amazing how much better you can look and feel just by taking care of your body’s basic needs...like drinking enough water 💁🏻‍♀️😆 #moistureistheessenceofwetness #wetnessistheessenceofbeauty https://t.co/6zXCMLimQ4

[philip matarese @philorphilip]

All my comedy has a message and that message is i'm fuckin dumb

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

@philorphilip do you have a crush on dogs?

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

@philorphilip i want more animals 😭 🐀

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

@philorphilip did you know that 1 in 30 people shit in the shower? that’s some fucked up shit

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

@philorphilip your babe is so cool 😎😛

[Jason L. Voorhees @JasonLVoorhees]

#NationalComplimentDay

I've been told I have a killer body.

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

i’m really pleasant to be around unless i’m hungry, tired, hot, cold, thirsty or otherwise slightly uncomfortable #sunshinestateofmind https://t.co/ByM3NKPK6q

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

https://t.co/ZumLoDdg7J

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

@philorphilip i wouldn’t eat any kids ass

[philip matarese @philorphilip]

Ok so when Christmas comes early everyone's stoked but when I do everyone’s bummed

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

i love this so much 👍 https://t.co/OMD7FYNbGq

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

i am a fucking genius 🙌 https://t.co/bMgwWARJwO

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

@philorphilip yessssss

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

what i tell myself in the mirror everyday #youcandoit #iinventedelectricity #benfranklinisthedevil #moistureistheessenceofwetnessandwetnessistheessenceofbeauty cred instaalcoholic https://t.co/aDNELoPUNX

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

from my penis to yours #brownhellokitty #eatingouttonight #animalshbo #somebodyfeedphil #waffleiron #bradybunch https://t.co/fKxDNCI3a5

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

@philorphilip phil, you never fail to satisfy and delight me.
from my penis to yours,
sombrero 🐀

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

@philorphilip well said

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

omg Mikey Ryder 🤣 🤣 🤣 https://t.co/CCsrvY3KL4 https://t.co/CCsrvY3KL4

[Somb Brero @immicrowavable]

💀 🤣 https://t.co/05JRabvP2C