Imogen

25

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

do you know how horny you gotta be to notice this shit

[SP @sspencerukk]

Winter fans only exist in summer. Never see em tweeting in January “absolutely soaked, got frostbite on my bollocks and it’s dark before I leave work 🔥”

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

you could text me the saddest news ever but if you use the 😭 emoji, imma assume you’re laughing

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

you literally cannot go wrong with leather shorts, tights, and chunky boots😮‍💨

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

Why do boys have way nicer eye lashes than girls

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

Another thing I didn’t know I needed until now

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

When provoked or threatened, red pandas will stand on their hind legs to appear larger.

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

Imagine being Molly Mae’s baby and having your own bathroom from the moment you’re born

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

Why do I get the urge to press the ulcers in my mouth eventhough it’s agony

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

okay but the choke hold Chris Brown has us all in with under the influence🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[ScottyJohns @highroadsaloon]

I said to my wife "Do you think anyone will commit suicide because they could not get an abortion?"
She instantly replied "yes."
Then she added "there will be all those boyfriends and husbands that murder them because they couldn't get one too" and that shook my fucking world.

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

Why are women who work in post offices always furious

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

kids on my street are out playing curby my heart is so full

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

i got 2 pairs of Stradivarius cargos and I understand the hype completely wow what a purchase

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

Klopp signing for an extra 2 years is the biggest chefs kiss EVER

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

my immune system hasn’t been immuning this year I’ve caught every single cold going cbaaaaa

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

the lawyer asking Johnny Depp 4 times is that his signature has me WEAK HAHAHAH

[Imogen @imogengreen_x]

My love goes out to the people who warn you of a speed van down the road ily all