Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA

your daughter? boned. bag? sniffed. beers? deleted #automatic #Impaled #MentalRetard

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

I love when the ufc goes to china, every fighter loses fundamentals and just begins to throw bombs until someone gets murdered on live television #ufcshanghai #ufc

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@S6lky @bagbeast Me me me

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

Never gonna forget the time my girlfriend kicked me out of her apartment because she was trying to sleep on me but I got my daily dollar on stake up to like 50$ #jackpot

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

I wish I could morph into the string that lies upon the surface of her asscrack. I’d be smelling her lunch all day, everyday. #HotOffThePress #PegMe

[CelebCityy 📸 @CelebCityy]

The FRONT or the BACK?? 🤔

👩: Sydney Sweeney

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

If my best friend died tomorrow, the first thing I’m doing is kirkifying him

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

I think I’m immortal because I sucked some toes one night and completely forgot she literally had sandals on. I essentially licked a bar floor #stillfinished #gremlin

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@degendadon @bagbeast A guy like me would beat you with a lead pipe

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

What if you took home a cute freshman girl and she whips out an absolute pile of beef. Are we still exploring south of the Mason Dixon?

Shit if it hangs down enough, I’ll start using it like a speed bag!

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

The genie after I stick my wet goonrod in his mothers ashes for the 4 time to make it look like a fun dip stick

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@DougNoseCandy I use to take girls walking by in college and stick a 12 oz corona in their colon and turn em upside down

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@SnifferSeymore That is shit from a literal butt

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

We need a term to measure the grippage of a chick. Imagine your boy like “she’s decent, has like a 650 GSI” grip per square inch of course

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@degendadon @bagbeast Say that shit to my face PUSSY

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@Boneslovesbag I have a buddy that would put her in a full Nelson. His name is @DougNoseCandy

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@TobiasTitle9 Thank you online personality and global sensation Steve will do it

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

I just asked myself why I feel like shit but then I remember I’ve had two energy drinks six Zyns about three beer and a Nashville spicy chicken sandwich. I am currently shitting through a screen door.

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@bagbeast @i_love_tweas me and chuckie are now gonna bang his girl. Game is BACK.

[Connor “The Bagnent” Millar @bagbeast]

Yeah got it I’ll let him know

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@i_love_tweas I might just ship my kids in a crate to Afghanistan, the wife on the other hand grips like a rock climber

[Jeremiah “Laser” Cottonmouth @JeremiahLaser]

Oompa Loompa ate too much chocolate #pike

[Gordon “The Impaler” Fletcher, CFP, CLU, MBA @impaledbygordon]

@freddydanger69 Let me get back to you, gonna ask around. The next day I don’t fully abuse substances, I will be dead