Drew Aslakson

improvisor, writer, musician, 10k hours+ of funk guitar

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

@iliza yes please! http://t.co/8zO4ETPXUm #CanIHaveAnother

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

@SWeissmanESPN @iliza @NBCNews #NewDisneyMovie #GobbyTheGoblin @shermanedwards

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

Looking for the to st patties parties in the Chi, we are getting close to the 40's watch out! #GreenFox

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

@KRCResearch Data and Market Research analytics at their finest

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

Back from a Sales Conference and it feels like a fresh start, Ahh Motivational speaker #MattFoley #VanDownByTheRiver #sales

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

@shermanedwards nice review. antartica... i'd also go shirtless for effect

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

@TXRandy14 How the hell were you elected to Congress in the first place!? Oh! you are a rep for Texas... nuff said... #Idiot

[Cristiano Ronaldo @Cristiano]

It's an unforgettable moment
in my life to win the Ballon d’Or for the third time! I fee... http://t.co/OnVq1Ut2eP

[NSA Public Relations @NSA_PR]

We are happy to report that all of our surveillance operations are now gluten free.

[NSA Public Relations @NSA_PR]

Ugh, still writing 2014 on FISA paperwork. Oh well, like they even read it anyway.

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

@mjones3491 @headkrack @dishnation ahhh that wasn't funny. Someone buy that man a Vultron!!! very sad story buddy! much love

[Alan Miller @amiller78]

Update: #Fracking sites claimed lives in Ohio and Colorado this week... http://t.co/4oMNMcV6I1 http://t.co/fBnj0pamMK

[LaneBrooks @lanebrooks]

#Fracking industry buys off Illinois, promising prosperity delivering decline. http://t.co/GvPcgq9RAQ

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

@KevinHart4real @ShawnShuntel #LetMeExplain #SMH

[Kevin Hart @KevinHart4real]

I'm a #GrownLittleMan who is #SeriouslyFunny & let y'all #LaughAtMyPain then things happened so I said #LetMeExplain so question is #WhatNow

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

In 20 years, the year 2034, there will be 9 billion people on Earth. In 20 years, we will not be able to feed the extra 2 billion people

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

@clovito I loved the article on steve harvey, the piers morgan and john legend one NOT SO MUCH Piers is not wrong is wanting the N word gone

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

@johnlegend nice condescending response to Piers Morgan... really handling this issue the correct way *Sarcasim! #StickTo"Singing"

[Drew Aslakson @ImprovDrew]

for every $ that you give to fight Ebola, Google will match it with 2 $.. your so nice Google always thinking about humanity in the long run