La mentalidad de un narcisista en pocas palabras: eso no sucedió, y si sucedió, no fue tan malo, y si sucedió, no es gran cosa, y si lo fue, no es mi culpa, y si lo fue, no quise hacerlo, y si lo hice, me obligaste a hacerlo.
One thing I cannot tolerate at this grown age is people who refuse to understand cause and effect. Your actions produced this outcome. Why are you shocked by the consequences of something you deliberately set in motion, then standing there playing victim?
Maybe the reason why they never met the soft you is because they never created a safe space for you to exist. It's really hard to bloom in an environment that forces you to keep your guard up.