It's high time we normalize offering help to new mums while visiting, don't just go visiting to say "eku ewu omo" and expect her to serve you food and drinks while she's trying to stay afloat.
May we not choke on fanta o...
#newmums#naijamums#motherhood
Today is Father’s Day, and I just want to celebrate every dad who shows up, Every dad who is actively present in his child’s life and creating memories they will carry forever.
Happy Father’s Day!
Back when I got my first job at Diamond Bank VI, the staff bus picked us up by 4:30am.
Every morning my dad would escort me to the pickup point.
He had this big stick he always carried.
There is just a certain confidence that comes with knowing your dad is right there with you
One morning we almost missed the bus. My dad could run faster than me, so he ran ahead and stopped it for me.
My father showed us so much love. There was mad love in our home o.
Before We Judge: The Unspoken Weight of a Down Syndrome Diagnosis
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There is a peculiar confidence that comes with standing far away from somebody else's pain. It allows us to speak in absolutes. To say, "I would never." To point fingers. To condemn.
And yet, life has a way of humbling certainty.
A popular YouTuber and his wife recently shared that they chose to end a pregnancy after learning there was a high risk that their baby had Down syndrome. The criticism arrived swiftly, and loudly, and from every direction. People called them selfish. Some called them heartless. Others questioned their values, their character, and even their right to be parents.
But I wonder.
I wonder how many of those judging have ever sat in a consultation room where the air suddenly feels heavier than it should. Where a routine appointment becomes a conversation that divides life into a before and an after. Where every answer seems to create a dozen new questions.
As a gynaecologist, I can tell you that these situations are rarely simple. And they are almost never black and white.
The first thing to understand is that a screening test does not diagnose Down syndrome. It estimates risk. It opens a door to possibility, and sometimes to fear. A high-risk result is usually followed by further investigations, detailed scans, chorionic villus sampling, or amniocentesis, to determine whether the baby truly has an extra copy of chromosome 21.
And when that diagnosis is confirmed, parents find themselves standing at a crossroads they never expected to reach.
There is the path of continuing the pregnancy. There is the path of seeking further opinions if uncertainty remains. And, in places where the law permits, there is the option of ending the pregnancy.
None of these roads is easy.
What often gets lost in public debates is that Down syndrome is not one story. It is many stories.
There are individuals with Down syndrome who live joyful, meaningful lives, who enrich their families and communities in ways that cannot be measured. And there are families who would tell you that their child has been one of the greatest blessings they have ever known.
But there is another truth too.
Down syndrome can come with significant medical challenges. Congenital heart defects. Gastrointestinal abnormalities that require surgery. Hearing and vision problems. Thyroid disorders. Recurrent infections. Developmental delays. Intellectual disability that varies widely from person to person. And later in life, an increased risk of conditions such as leukaemia and early-onset dementia.
Some children may require relatively little medical intervention.
Others may spend months in hospitals. They may undergo multiple surgeries. They may need specialised educational support and lifelong assistance. Their parents may become caregivers not just for years, but for decades.
And so families do not only weigh a diagnosis. They weigh futures. They weigh capacities. They weigh resources. They weigh fears they are sometimes ashamed to say aloud.
Can we cope?
Can we provide what this child may need?
What happens when we are no longer here?
These are not comfortable questions. But they are real ones.
This is why such decisions are deeply personal. Some parents receive the diagnosis and continue the pregnancy with conviction and courage. Others arrive, through grief and counselling and countless sleepless nights, at a different conclusion.
Neither journey is easy.
And beneath all of this sits something even more complicated: morality, faith, culture, ethics, and personal belief. The things that shape how we see life itself. Different people will arrive at different conclusions because they begin from different convictions.
Reasonable people can disagree.
What we should resist, however, is the temptation to assume that decisions like these are made casually, over coffee, or in a moment of convenience.
In my experience, they are among the most agonising decisions prospective parents will ever face.
You do not have to agree with this couple's choice.
But before condemning them, perhaps it is worth acknowledging the burden they carried. Perhaps it is worth recognising that compassion and disagreement can exist in the same sentence.
And perhaps the most human response is not judgment.
Perhaps it is humility.
we have these little chats about how to express their feelings without hurting each other.
It’s not always easy (trust me, sibling wahala is real! 😅), but I remind them that kindness is a strength, not a weakness.
What’s one thing you’re passing on to your kids?
One thing I’m intentionally passing on to my boys is the power of kindness.
Growing up, my mum used to say, ‘Treat people well, not because of who they are, but because of who you are.’ That has stuck with me.
So now, when my boys argue or fight,
Apparently her husband caught us🤭, Then we heard her husband sigh and say, “I know, it’s 2-zero… but watch me spit out the incoming king.”
The wife said “Sir, sir, please, let’s respect genetics!”😂
Awon silent investors 🤣
Myself and the other two mums in the room exchanged that silent but powerful look—the “Sis, we see you, we’re proud of you, thank you for your service to the sisterhood” kind of look. 👏🏾😂
So let’s be intentional about the emotional tone we set.
Let’s raise kids who don’t find peace uncomfortable. Kids who won’t confuse drama for passion or chaos for love. Kids who know that kindness and stability are normal.
Because peace isn’t boring. It’s safe.
Are We Teaching Our Kids That Peace is Boring? 🧵
Ever noticed how some people can’t sit in peace? If things are too calm, they start looking for chaos. Some adults don’t even feel “loved” unless there’s drama. 😳
Now, imagine raising kids who grow up thinking like this…
This doesn’t mean we fake perfection (because let’s be real, parenting can be messy! 😂). But it does mean modeling healthy relationships —love that is steady, safe, and strong.
Because one day, they’ll build their own homes, and guess what? They’ll repeat what they know.
If your husband offers to help with a chore and says, “Relax, I’ve got this,”
are you actually relaxing, or are you low-key worried he’ll do it halfway and give you extra work?
If you’re a mum (or know one) who’s struggling emotionally after childbirth, please speak up. Ask for help. It’s not your fault, and it’s okay to not be okay. Let’s normalize talking about ALL aspects of maternal mental health.
This story is tragic and hard to comprehend, but it’s a reminder that mental health support for new mums is not optional—it’s essential. We don’t know this woman’s full story, but what if she was battling postpartum psychosis and had no help?
Unfortunately, we have barely scratched the surface on conversations about maternal mental health. We only hear about Postpartum Depression, and even that is stigmatized. But how many women are suffering in silence because we’re not talking about this enough?