how to kill a ratsworn
repercussion of breaking a rodent oath
weakest member of the vermincourt
is Mur of Many Rats vengeful
how many rats can a human fight
rats vs one human analysis
my artillery golem immediately after being touched on the cheek by a beautiful forest dryad and feeling the painful spark of love in the cold dead shell of his steel torso
cleric: if the gods refuse to answer us, we are made stronger by our faith and devotion to them. we are tested by their absence.
paladin: wrong. strength comes by our faith in each other, even through devotion to absent gods, it’s your UNITY that empowers you
fighter: i’m white
My soon to be wife: what’s that sound?
*the lumineers start to stomp clap their way down the aisle during the ceremony*
Wife: I thought you couldn’t afford them?
Me: I-I couldn’t
The lumineers lead singer who is also my friend from high school but with a bigger beard: We wouldn’t miss it for the world
Me: Dude.. *a raw sob wracks my frame which surprises the party guests, due to my profession of being an assassin*
My litmus test for this will be if they start on a visually evocative shot of the sky or if they have some guy actually saying “the sky was the color of television tuned to a dead channel”
Passed a man whose shirt read "I found love in Niles, Illinois." My heart lept. Romance had triumphed yet again. I turn, and see plastered across the back "And it was only 200 bucks!" Ah. Nothing but a cruel mockery. This bitter cynicism will save no one.
I’ve been starting each day with something I call a smoke shop speedball, which is a Celsius and a heaping spoonful of Kratom. It makes me feel really bad.
therapist: let’s try a simple roleplaying exercise to help externalize your feelings. just be yourself and i’ll be a beautiful busty elf ranger.
me: what?
therapist: you humans disgust me. you can’t even clean your room. i’ll kill you. you’re going to die today