inconvenience store

just a minor inconvenience. idiot mathematician.

[Rump Dumpler @rumpdumpler]

We all got that one coworker

[Michael Caine @themichaelcaine]

You are only suppose to have a good time

[John Sarrao @JSarrao]

Yea I'm gay... Gay for pusy #GuyCode

[rune sword @runesword1]

how to kill a ratsworn
repercussion of breaking a rodent oath
weakest member of the vermincourt
is Mur of Many Rats vengeful
how many rats can a human fight
rats vs one human analysis

[paddle @ipaddlearound]

i hate when my upstairs neighbor walks around. i hope he falls through the soft spot in the ceiling ive been spraying with water every night.

[Icy @whereicy]

At the strip club sighing loudly until the stripper ask what’s wrong

[episode one @E1podcast]

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

We all have that one friend who is Constantly Struggling against One or More Outrageously Absurd Plights

[rune sword @runesword1]

my artillery golem immediately after being touched on the cheek by a beautiful forest dryad and feeling the painful spark of love in the cold dead shell of his steel torso

[rune sword @runesword1]

cleric: if the gods refuse to answer us, we are made stronger by our faith and devotion to them. we are tested by their absence.

paladin: wrong. strength comes by our faith in each other, even through devotion to absent gods, it’s your UNITY that empowers you

fighter: i’m white

[Sprocket Springberry @sabatonfan69]

My soon to be wife: what’s that sound?

*the lumineers start to stomp clap their way down the aisle during the ceremony*

Wife: I thought you couldn’t afford them?

Me: I-I couldn’t

The lumineers lead singer who is also my friend from high school but with a bigger beard: We wouldn’t miss it for the world

Me: Dude.. *a raw sob wracks my frame which surprises the party guests, due to my profession of being an assassin*

[Chris Wade @saywhatagain]

My litmus test for this will be if they start on a visually evocative shot of the sky or if they have some guy actually saying “the sky was the color of television tuned to a dead channel”

[patagucci perf papi @kenwheeler]

@gbrl_dick yeah i’m buying a chinese laser rifle

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

Passed a man whose shirt read "I found love in Niles, Illinois." My heart lept. Romance had triumphed yet again. I turn, and see plastered across the back "And it was only 200 bucks!" Ah. Nothing but a cruel mockery. This bitter cynicism will save no one.

[Sprocket Springberry @sabatonfan69]

Dentists be like hello I am your dentist and this is my harem

[Dalton Pruitt @daltonleepruitt]

I’ve been starting each day with something I call a smoke shop speedball, which is a Celsius and a heaping spoonful of Kratom. It makes me feel really bad.

[ed @rithsattendant]

My colossal golem is insurmountable. Leave me. They won’t surmount my golem. Colossal, I said. Let me be. It’s insurmountable.

[swinky @swinkying]

you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you

[jbolina jolie @pastapilled]

Does Sisyphus forget of his boulder

[rune sword @runesword1]

therapist: let’s try a simple roleplaying exercise to help externalize your feelings. just be yourself and i’ll be a beautiful busty elf ranger.

me: what?

therapist: you humans disgust me. you can’t even clean your room. i’ll kill you. you’re going to die today