totally correct idv

hey aesop do you think pigeons have feelings / incorrect idv shitposts / dms are open to send your incorrect idv fanart to be rt'd! ty 🥺💕

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

jack: my hands are cold
hastur: here, i'll hold them
jack:
jack: my lips are kinda cold too
hastur: ...?
hastur: *puts a hand over jack's lips*

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

joker: can i ask you a question?
mike: yeah.
joker: why are we laying in the grass?
mike: oh, luchino's lethal crash knocked you unconscious, so i lied down next to you so everyone would think we're just chilling.

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

mike, with his leg stuck in a trap: now, joker, you may be asking, "how did you do this to yourself, mikey?"
mike: well, buddy, mikey has no fucking clue either.

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

hastur: i would like to propose...
jack: *freezes*
hastur: ... an idea.
jack: oh...
hastur: we should get married.
jack: OH-

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

ganji, at the exit gate: but what about naib?!
norton: don't worry about him.
norton: i once watched him fall down a flight of stairs, stand up, and keep walking like nothing happened.

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

bi'an: *moves mini wujiu from his lap to do something else*
mini wujiu: big husband is... evil? big husband is unyielding? big husband is incapable of love? i am running away. i am packing my little umbrella and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond.

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

luchino: are you two friends with benefits?
joker: ye-
orpheus: NO
joker: yes?
orpheus: NO!!
joker: but being friends with you has lots of benefits
orpheus, exasperated: that's not what that MEANS.
joker: we help each other out-
orpheus: joker. stop.

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

mary: those survivors are definitely plotting something.
joseph: maybe they're scheming?
mary: no, scheming looks different. they're definitely plotting.

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

margaretha: you know that voice in your head that tells you what you're doing is wrong?
mike: you mean the one that sounds like joker?

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

mary: i lost robbie.
antonio: how did you lose robbie?!
mary: oh, give me a break. he's like two inches tall.

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

antonio: you and hastur seem like an incredibly happy couple. do you ever make hastur mad?
jack: *thinking* one time i asked him for a glass of water when he was mad at me. so he just brought me a cup of ice cubes and told me to "wait."

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

emile to eda: hi, honey
emile: you may be wondering why i'm glued to the ceiling

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

bi'an: if an assassin killed you, i would hunt them down to the ends of the earth.
wujiu: on your word, i would kill every person in this room without a second thought.
antonio: you know that normal couples don't say these things to each other, right?

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

( texting )

joker: i miss u :(
mike: check your porch
joker: there's nothing here???
mike: oh my god i'm at the wrong house

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

edgar, sitting on the floor with a canvas and his paints: love is a weakness. it's an evolutionary mistake.
mike: you're literally making a 5 year anniversary gift for luca right now?
edgar, pointing a paintbrush at him: shut the fuck up, morton.

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

joseph, at aesop's funeral: i need a moment with him.
everyone, leaving: of course.
joseph, leaning over aesop's coffin: aesop carl. i know you are not dead. you're just avoiding the next get-together.
aesop: yeah, no shit.

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

mike: alright man. you're offered 500,000 dollars but if you accept it, the person you hate most in the entire world gets 1,000,000 dollars. are you taking it?
norton: yeah, i mean, why wouldn't i want 1,500,000 dollars
luca: dude...

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

edgar: i'm sorry i called you an idiot, luca
edgar: but i was flirting you dumbass

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

robbie: eww why are you having salad
mary: are you five years old
robbie: my friend antonio is allergic to salad, when he eats salad he literally throws up
mary: ok. i am not your friend who is allergic to salad though

[totally correct idv @incorrect_idv]

tracy: would you fuck the mailman for mail
luca: are you not supposed to