incorrect quotes the pitt

for pittlings 🧀 santos haters dni
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[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

shen: when i get murdered, can you make sure i become an unsolved case?
ellis: ok boss.
crus: ok boss.
abbot: what???
shen: i want to be on buzzfeed unsolved.
abbot: can we circle back to the part where you said "when i get murdered"?

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

robby, talking about his residents: they all share the same two braincells.
robby: javadi usually has the both of them, but sometimes she gives one to santos and whitaker to share.

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

mel: i give up, i'm so tired
samira: get the emergency supply!
donnie: *drags langdon and places him in front of mel*
langdon: *smiles awkwardly*
mel: I'M BACK!!! LET'S GO!

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

whitaker: okay, you're driving, and joy and ogilvie walk onto the road. what do you hit?
javadi: oh, definitely ogilvie. i could never hurt joy.
whitaker: the brakes, javadi. you hit the brakes.

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

(post-scalpel incident)
santos: dr garcia, i beg of you. please, PLEASE, let me draw your blood-
garcia: i'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound?

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

al-hashimi: did you tell everybody that we're dating?
santos: yes, baran, i have no self control and told the entire hospital we're dating.
al-hashimi: okay, no need for sarcasm.
santos: no, seriously, i have no self control and told the entire hospital we're dating.

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

santos: the food's too hot, i can't eat it
whitaker:
garcia:
garcia: well you're hot and i'd still eat-
whitaker: ONE DINNER
santos: here we go again...
whitaker: ONE NORMAL FUCKING DINNER IS ALL I ASK FOR

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

robby: i have issues
al-hashimi: finally you admit it! the first step to redemption is to accept-
robby: with you.

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

javadi: could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?
santos: *crouches down*
whitaker: *kneels down*
samira: *sits on a nearby chair*
javadi: i fucking hate all of you.

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

abbot: i just realised the 5 stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance spell DABDA
abbot: sometimes you gotta DAB DA grief away
robby: never fucking speak to me again

(later)
robby: i know you're feeling bad, but you know... you can DAB DA grief away

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

langdon: you look good today, bro. pro homo
whitaker: don't you mean no homo?
langdon: it's a new era bro, support the gays.

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

*baby jane doe crying*
mel: what is her problem?
santos: try singing to her!
mel: whaaaat iiiiiiis heeeeer proooobleemmmm?

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

mckay: would you say you're independent?
emma: *looks at dana*
dana: *nods*
emma: i'd say so, yes

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

samira: you should learn how to accept your flaws, just like me.
javadi: you accept your flaws?
samira: no, but i accept yours.

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

santos: robby i dare you-
abbot: robby is not allowed to accept dares.
santos: why not?
robby, head bowed: i have no regard for my safety.

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

santos: the girl i like is too tall for me to kiss her on the mouth. what should i do?
langdon: punch her in the stomach. when she doubles over in pain, kiss her.
javadi: tackle her.
whitaker: dump her.
garcia: NONE OF THOSE THINGS. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

mel: the stars are beautiful tonight
langdon: yes they are
mel: you know who else is beautiful?
langdon, blushing: who?
mel: trinity santos...

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

al-hashimi: dr santos, can we talk about the ER-wide email you just sent?
santos: it's a critical update
al-hashimi: it just says "i'm back on my bullshit"
santos: the people need to know

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

javadi: hey guys, in today's video, my partner and i will be trying different hair products
mckay: *sprays hairspray into her mouth*
mckay: i can tell you right off the bat that this one's not very good

[incorrect quotes the pitt @incorrectdapitt]

ellis: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!
ellis: *throws water bottles*
mel: uh... what's up with dr ellis?
santos: she's trying to yell mental health and well being into us.
ellis: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!!!
samira: it's working.