incorrect ushiten

two bros saying they're besties on national tv because they're not gay

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Tendou: It's kinda gay when we hold hands, don't ya think?

Ushijima:

Ushijima: No, I think it's the marriage certificate that makes it gay.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

*Ushiten as parents, bedtime*

The child: DADDY! There’s a monster under my bed!

Tendou, checking under the bed: That’s silly, there's no such thing as mo- OH, IT'S TEARING MY ARM! AHHHH Just kidding, he only eats little kids, goodnight!

Ushijima, from the other room: SATORI!

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Tendou, leaning on the counter: Hey beautiful, come here often?

Ushijima: Is this the part where I remind you we've been married for five years or do I play along?

Tendou: Play along!

Ushijima: Alright.

Ushijima: Sorry, I'm not interested, I'm married.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

*At practice*

Ushijima : *Lovingly stares*

Tendou: *Lovingly stares back*

Goshiki, who's been standing there for 2 minutes, wanting to ask a question: ...I'll come back later.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Tendou: I only take pictures of things that are beautiful.

Kageyama: Ushijima-san told me your whole camera roll is just pictures of him?

Tendou: Exactly.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

*Ushijima washing the dishes*

Ushijima: Tendou, will you get something from my back pocket for me?

Tendou: What am I getting out of this?

Ushijima: A chance to touch my butt.

Tendou: Deal.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Tendou, flirting: Can you hold this?

Ushijima: That’s your hand.

Tendou: Yes.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

*Shiratorizawa third years playing truth or dare*

Semi: Kiss the next person coming in through the door

Ushijima: This is stupid, I don't like this game

Tendou: *Walks in* You called me?

Ushijima: ...I ...okay, I will follow the rules, they are meant to be obeyed

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Tendou: l don't think this suit jacket suits you.

Tendou: Or this dress shirt.

Tendou: And these pants? Awful.

Ushijima: Tendou, you're stripping me.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

*Ushijima asking for advice on how to flirt with Tendou*

Hoshiumi: Just tell him, “You’re beautiful.”

Ushijima: Good idea, thank you.

Ushijima, to Tendou: I’m beautiful.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Ushijima: How do you do it?

Tendou: How do I do what?

Ushijima: Smile all the time.

Tendou: I just think of you all the time.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Ushijima: I've lied to every other partners I said "I love you" to. I thought I loved them but then I met you and realized I've never been in love before.

Tendou: Awww, I didn't know that.

Ushijima: Yes, it was eating me up inside. So, I called them each individually and said "I have never loved you."

Tendou: Okay, that seems unnecessary.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Tendou, to Ushijima: One concept I think we should explore more is, um… each other’s bodies

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Ushijima, to Goshiki: We are not mad. We are just disappointed. 

Tendou: No, we are mad. 

Ushijima: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide. 

Tendou: No, we’re not.

Ushijima: I am not a mind reader, Tendou.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Ushijima: Next time I should pick the movie we'll watch, this is not good at all.

Tendou: Well, the plan was never to watch the movie, dummy.

Ushijima: Then why did you choose this?

Tendou:

Ushijima: What?

Tendou: *kisses Ushijima* Do you see it now?

Ushijima, blushing: Uh... um, yeah, yes. Umm. Good thought. Smart. Yes.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Ushijima: Everywhere I turn, BAM, there's Tendou Satori

Reon: That's because you're following him around...

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Ushijima: You know, wh-when I was a kid, I-I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.

Tendou: You wanted to be petty and dishonest?

Ushijima: Everybody's not like that.

Tendou: Yes, they are.

Ushijima: You're not like that.

Tendou: How do you know what I'm like?

Ushijima: All I know is.. You're the most amazing person with... weak ankles I've ever met. Tendou, when I'm with you I-I don't feel so... alone.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Tendou, trying to flirt: So... do you come here often?

Ushijima, confused: I mean, this is our dorm, so yes.

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Tendou: Ugh, I hardly slept last night

Goshiki: They say when you can't sleep, it means someone is thinking about you

Tendou: Who would be thinking about me at 3 am???

Ushijima: *Sweating profusely*

[incorrect ushiten @incorrectushtn]

Tendou, blowing candles: Wakatoshi, guess my birthday wish?

Ushijima: Don’t say me again.

Tendou: Too late. I already blew out the candle thinking about you.