Ryan Allen 🥑

I probably don't like you.

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

Watching a Turkish crime drama set in Istanbul. More than halfway through the first episode and haven't seen any cats. Extremely disappointed.

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[Littol Clee 🧡🖤 @CleeWeezy]

happey valid time's

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

there is no scenario whatsoever where you should be taking advice from someone named markwayne

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

@KarlBrophy If you have a reservation for Alinea, your family will forgive you.

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

@Acyn

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

@BBkelly19 @edgeAIapp Siniakova & Jovic just walked onto Court 1, FYI. First point in about 5 minutes.

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

Canadian Puff. Look at that paw work, @BitchestheCat.

[❄️george❄️ @pepit0ge0rge]

um Mome… I’m am very gomfy and gozy rite now can you be getting out of mine personal space please

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

"He's got himself on his own guest list."

Need to coordinate with @ilovealcopop and @lexkelandjun on an agreed time to listen to a Distophia song today.

RIP Robert Redford. 😢💔

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

@KrangTNelson Probably ate the Nigerian prince and took over his grift.

[Ellie Belly @ElliesLilBelly]

OK SO,, MOMB BUY TORTILA CHIB W LIME THINKIN OH ELBIE WONT LIKE THIS ,,, BESTIES IM FUGGIN LOVE LIME TILLA CHIBS!! 🍋‍🟩💚

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

Reporter left speechless after witnessing Japan's new $70 million Maglev train in action at 310 mph

[Always Late with Katie Nolan @AlwaysLateESPN]

"Who's the most famous person you could get to join this zoom call?"

The answer(s) are amazing 😂

[Wobbly Ruth, et al. @RuthWobbles]

Business idea: cigarettes for cats

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

Happy ESPN Unlimited Day to all who celebrate.

[Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr]

I’m on the case.

[roberto updates 🇵🇸 @robertoupdates]

i have to make roberto his own tortilla so he doesn’t steal from the rest of the stack

[phil and rufus (party hat and party favor) @reallylittlecat]

I got money but no hoes

[Ryan Allen 🥑 @indierocker7]

@SarahSpain the only thing missing from this hellscape is him shouting "who loves you and who do you love"

[HSBC Championships @QueensTennis]

Fish & Chips 🍦
Pickled Onions🍦
Gravy🍦

Ice cream tasting but with a British difference at the #HSBCChampionships🍦