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Crystal ball. Philosopher's stone. Palantir. Orbuculum. Urim and Thummim. Zaztun. Premonition Sphere.

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Calculating how much time I've spent on Twitter this year

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@NotChewsdayIsIt But then no one can judge you for pulling the blanket over your head.

What?

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@DRTheSecond @jarvis_best The most amazing tweet ever:

hahahahahaha

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@Prisonmitch I would like one of these machines, please.

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@IMAO_ Hey, buddy, that's not Lexo Sooger, that's my wife!

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@ActualNames1 It's like a regular laxative, but you shit your balls out.

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@ActualNames1

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@intotheweids What?? Satan, you cuck, get back here!

[Charles C. W. Cooke @charlescwcooke]

Tom Steyer keeps running around saying that it’s unfair that billionaires like him can buy our democracy, then spending hundreds of millions dollars to do just that, then failing to get elected, and then repeating all the same lines the next time around. It’s extremely funny.

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@AGHamilton29 I can only assume LA will have another fire, riot, and incompetent response to an earthquake within that time.

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@ActualNames1

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@SirajAHashmi I'm not old enough to get your 60 Minutes references, Grampa.

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@GenXWolf @Hmitchell He should stay away from all drugs, even if it's just some grass.

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@HunterBiden @Boilers32 The face of someone who realized he did, in fact, forget his drugs.

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@intelFromBrian @libsoftiktok HOT lesbians are fine. But we draw the line at uggos and fatties.

I do not make the rules.

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@LuckyMcGee @CallMeK1123

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@DavidBozell Most of those listed would LIKE to get corn-holed.

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@nomad31 @foster_type

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@brhodes I wish you could get fired from being a hackish douchebag terrorist. 🙁

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@damintoell I dunno, I thought it was funny.