Rachel B

Single mom. Career driven. Aspiring comedian.

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

Roses are red,
My name is Dave,
This poem doesn’t rhyme,
Microwave
#NewEndingsToRosesAreRed

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

https://t.co/vqFjaeAsg7 JOIN Tap 2 Earn, a site that lets you earn money with social media. I earned $41 and you can too! Sign up today for a $25 bonus!;hashtags=onlinejob #earnmoney #makemoneyonline

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

#MyMentalHealthIs

[Marcy G @BunAndLeggings]

I'm expecting my kids to get their shit together when I don't even have my shit together.

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

Love. #ThingsKidsDoBetterThanAdults

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

My to do list. #UnlikelyMondayAccomplishments

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

#IdRatherTwerkThan deal with being in a relationship. #sleepslikeastarfish

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

#MakeMeLoveMondayBy handing me Starbucks the second my alarm goes off.

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

#ILoveBeingAloneBecause I don’t need outsider approval for anything I do with my life.

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious #StrangeSafeWords

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

“How do these damn Christmas lights get so tangled EVERY year?!” #OverheardDecoratingForHolidays

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

Never forget the alcohol. #ThingsILearnedFromHolidays

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

Going hunting #UnlikelyAfterlifeActivities

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

I’m allowed unlimited overtime now. #MyMentalStateIn5Words

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

I’m out of PTO but don’t want to go to work tomorrow. #BadGoFundMeIdeas

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

No longer panicking over the existential crisis my life is 🤷🏻‍♀️ #SignsYouveGivenUp

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

#GifYourInnerSelf

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

Get a guy while you are chubby in the winter so you know he likes you for your personality instead of just your body 😂 #BenefitsOfWinterWeightGain

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

If you’re happy and you know it, overthink. If you’re happy and you know it, overthink. If you’re happy and you know it, give your brain a chance to blow it. If you’re happy and you know it, overthink. #IfLifeHadASoundtrack

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

Halloween might be coming to an end, but the horrors in my life are not 🙃

[Rachel B @inkeduprobot]

#EarlyBirdsAlsoGet to Starbucks before an actual line forms.