Innocent Dad

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My son was getting me annoyed today. He said so many disrespectful things! but I replied saying YOUR MOTHER!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My daughter always tells her boyfriend that she's dripping wet. Should I get her a towel?

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My daughter told me that she likes to play with herself in her room. I need to find her some more friends!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My son can be so clumsy sometimes. I heard him say he broke his girlfriend's hymen!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My son's friends must like my wife's breakfast toast. They always say they love it when her jelly shakes!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My daughter told me that she failed her pregnancy test, so I told her to study harder next time...

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My son and his best friend are like brothers. 17 years old & showering together, having sleepovers...it's so cute!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

Your friend pulled her groin doing gymnastics? Of course I don't mind massaging it for her!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My wife always gets a sore throat when she's around black boys. How strange.

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My daughter is always talking about blowing...she must be playing that damn flute again!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

There's all pornography on the computer, my son says its all cause of some virus. Glad that he knew about viruses

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My daughter's boyfriend is so kind. When I yelled at him for taking her virginity, he said "Sorry sir, it won't happen again.

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

I think my son's black friends love fruits...it looks like they have bananas in their front pockets every time i see them!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

A man was naked in my daughter's bed he said that he was poor and had no clothe

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

my daughter told me she passed her pregnancy test im so glad i have clever kids

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My daughter must have a Biology project cause I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom.

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My son uses a whole box of tissues a night just wiping the keyboard, he is so hygienic!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

caught my son changing the 'F' he got on his test to an 'A.' The teacher must have made a mistake..

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

Your friend pulled her groin doing gymnastics? Of course I don't mind massaging it for her!

[Innocent Dad @innocentdady]

My daughter told me she got fingered in class, I told her to stop playing the thumb war game in class and to concentrate more!