30 years in tech. CISSP. Senior sales engineer.
I can demo any product to a room of 500 people.
Put me at a networking dinner with no agenda? I freeze.
That gap cost me more than any technical skill I never learned. So I built something about it.
https://t.co/zZqj1ZLEjQ
Swap “over-engineered” for:
“My intent is to keep this maintainable.
Here’s the concrete cost I’m seeing: ___
What constraint were you optimizing for?”
Swap “over-engineered” for:
“My intent is to keep this maintainable.
Here’s the concrete cost I’m seeing: ___
What constraint were you optimizing for?”
Swap “over-engineered” for:
“My intent is to keep this maintainable.
Here’s the concrete cost I’m seeing: ___
What constraint were you optimizing for?”
Swap “over-engineered” for:
“My intent is to keep this maintainable.
Here’s the concrete cost I’m seeing: ___
What constraint were you optimizing for?”
Rule: don’t answer hostility with content.
Hostility is an intent + tone problem, not a technical disagreement.
Responding with better code evidence doesn’t address the actual issue.
Here's what changed everything for me in hard conversations.
Stop setting outcome goals. Set process goals.
Not "get them to agree." That's out of your control.
Try: "Ask two clarifying questions before responding."
You can't control results. You can control your inputs.