intpedia

~ ★ ~ #𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊: . . . what’s the point in being clever if you can’t prove it, right @strangewatsons ?

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Therapist: Well, it looks like you’ve got plants that you’ve managed to keep alive! That’s huge!

Me: They’re all fake.

Therapist: Oh.

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Me: partially medicated again looking at the shrapnel of my depressive episode ✨
Me @ Me: oh what the fuck

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I’m fried to hell and my salad bag said “thoroughly washed and perishable” to which I thought … hmm, UMMMM SAME

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How am I supposed to date ‘in my free time’ when my free time is reserved for ME?

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@MayMayspeaks Her baby’s name is ‘What’.

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Life Hack: if you cook in the dark, no one outside will see you cooking butt ass naked in your kitchen. 🤣

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@kalsaricanny I’m still not over it. I havent been able to bring myself to reply to him. Because all I have to say is “why the fuck would you tell me this? And also, that’s not a JOB.”

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An actual man just told me he lost two of his jobs at the end of September and has been unemployed since. Sounds normal to some degree, things happen… but what if I tell you one of these things he considered a ‘job’ was literally sperm donation.

The dating pool is excruciating.

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I have so little sympathy for stupidity.

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@kalsaricanny Unlock her so others can see the brilliance unfold. (If not hers, then his. :P)

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@kalsaricanny Heard.

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Does anyone want to be friends on PokemonGo? 👀✨

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@kalsaricanny I love a good em dash. 💯

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@queeninfp I have a dog, and she is my child. I don’t have a man, but I’m also too busy to date? I have barely 2.5x my rent in savings at any given time. I’m not sure how it’s all supposed to come together, or if I’m simply doomed…

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I’m almost 30, and don’t feel old enough to have responsibilities and a job… Is this the general consensus? Or am I emotionally immature?

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@jeisvolare Haha ! You’re not wrong, but of all the people in the world to choose someone who looks like your chromosomal/allele match is wild to me, but perhaps it’s genetic disposition begging to continue the same damn genes? I just don’t think I could sleep with my visual “brother”. 😅

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Everyone I know is marrying people who look just like them… How long am I supposed to be nice about this before I’m allowed to comment that these couples look related???

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I went to make myself oatmeal for breakfast, poured out the packet into a bowl, and then remembered I don’t yet have a microwave in my new apartment. 🤣

[evelyn @portiaspetrat]

ever since i was a little girl ive loved information

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I had two margaritas and now I’m looking for another dog to adopt for my dog.