Paul Rob

I never read the instruction manual.. Tsar.. Czar.. Tzar.. Csomething..

[Greensboro Police Department @GSO_Police]

To our X followers. You have spoken. 🙌

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

I think this slogan sounded better in their head.

[ArtOtter @LordOtter]

🤣

[ChrisO_wiki @ChrisO_wiki]

It'd be worrying if the London Cable Car *wasn't* suspended, TBH

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

*you're

[David Barnett @davidmbarnett]

Yeah, you think this is hot but you should have been there in 1976. I saw the postman spontaneously combust on our step at 7am. We made jam from ladybirds. Water evaporated when you turned the tap on. Did we whinge? No. We slathered ourselves in lard and played out for 16 hours.

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

Just had a letter delivered confirming I have secured a job at Royal Mail.

I start last Monday.

🤣🤣

[Ian Duhig FRSL @ianduhig]

"Looks like meat is back on the menu boys!"

[Greensboro Police Department @GSO_Police]

As temperatures warm up, please remember to drink lots of water and stay indoors between 10:30 a.m. and November 1.

If you are planning on doing crime, please do it outside our jurisdiction.

[Shutts 🇲🇽 🇨🇼 🇺🇾 🇳🇴 @Shuttsapalooza]

By far my favourite Scotland vs Brazil story is the referee saying “Good luck, may the best team win” to both captains before the game in 1982 and Graeme Souness replying “I fucking hope not”

[George @Vintageboy2000]

Keir Starmer resigning on the 1936 HMV 901 Television

[Anne Applebaum @anneapplebaum]

Taken from the window

[Chris Oldman © @AlsikkanTV]

RIP john adams you would have loved twitter

[Emo Philips @EmoPhilips]

it isn’t

[Keir Wrong Un @keirwrong]

New weather map just landed

[anonymous historian and hat collector @james_e_b_]

Today I learned that the Norwegian for "Christ has died, Christ is risen" is:

Kristus døde, Kristus stod opp

and sorry but that's quite funny

[Anthony’s Bar & Grill @AnthonyGri10669]

I imagine these lads are working on a hilarious Liz Truss spoof this morning.

[steve @bagshaw2112]

Just found this, has got to be one of the best rejection letters ever sent 😃😃😃 #fawltytowers @JohnCleese