Ira

It's a root, idiot

[Kent @RealKentMurphy]

I think every catcher can relate to this feeling 😂

[Pat McAfee @PatMcAfeeShow]

Good morning beautiful people..
Today’s the perfect day to remember that your attitude determines your altitude..

A perspective day.. You’re alive, but are you living? Let your life take flight. Hop your ass on an umbrella & soar.

Let’s have a Thursday

[d @_Dqvee]

I told this girl she wasted my time and she said “not like you was doing shit anyway” LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Ira @Ira_ony]

If you pull into the 2nd lane at McDonalds while everybody in line is waiting at the split... you’re an asshole.

[Road Dog Karl @HammerFist3]

This shit impressive honestly

[Chad Johnson @ochocinco]

Show & Tell was in elementary school

[Pat McAfee @PatMcAfeeShow]

“Par”

[Chad Johnson @ochocinco]

If you didn’t eat McDonald’s today do you really love yourself❓

[RobotRowboat™ @robotrowboat]

Teacher: Who knows what a pronoun is?
Me: *raises hand*
Teacher: And don’t say a professional noun
Me: *lowers hand*

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

[After leaving Willy Wonka’s factory]
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE: Lot of deaths for a to—
ME: A LOT of deaths for a tour!

[RiFF RAFF / DALE DAN TONY / JODY HiGHROLLER @JODYHiGHROLLER]

AiR CONDiTiONiNG WAS iNVENTED ONLY LiKE 50 YEARS AGO.

ALL OF US HUMANS SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO BE ALiVE iN THiS AiR CONDiTiONiNG ERA

[chris long @JOEL9ONE]

Keep pumping the booze ads, guys. You’re doing great!

[Letterkenny Problems @LetterkennyProb]

You heard some city gals talkin' about payin' to get their pubic hair ripped out with wax. Tell you what, grab a cow by the tail. They'll kick you in the box for free if that's what you're into.

[Jorden English @JordenEnglish]

It hurts knowing someone else is living out your dreams.

[Frankie Muniz @frankiemuniz]

Hold up... What show was this?

[Robert Brown Jr @slidejob_bob]

If my kid (not likely) raced a micro (not happening) at the Shootout (alright it’s a hypothetical bear with me) I’d put a tractor exhaust flapper on his header and if it ever touched the collector I’d put him up for adoption. #WFO