Irwell Johnson

Director, award-winning writer & reluctant producer WLTM producer - GSOH essential. In my head I drive a car that has running boards.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@hellothisisivan Don't you mean "His Rogesty"? I believe that is his correct title

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@amwilson_opera @EduardHabsburg There's a brilliant and fascinating Decoder Ring podcast episode by @willapaskin which explains the history of Muzak and the direct line between it and grunge music. It's wild.
https://t.co/PYotZyYueH

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

If you want to know how diverse the Gorton & Denton constituency is it has, and I shit you not, a cowboy themed Pakistani restaurant. With a 10 foot prancing horse statue in the car park, obviously.

It's called HOWDY! which is a shame because CHOWDRY! was right there

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@DaveAspey you can download your season ticket on to two devices, so your dad should be able to download yours on to his phone, then can take your lad. Your dad will just have to tap his phone twice to let your son and then him through.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@thomasforth You may as well retire the "standalone under a railway bridge" category before you start because nothing will beat The Crown under the (one-time) world's largest stack of bricks (and still Britain's lagest), Stockport Viaduct.

8 cask inc. permanent Bass.

Your move.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@thomasforth @John_Stepek I can't work out if "mourning for imagined traditions we never created" beings you and @michael_merrick closer together or further apart.

I bet if you offer a diplomatic post to Franz, Duke of Bavaria you might have him onside.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@dontdelay "you can't pay your gas bill with roof slates" is always my response to that.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@BrianSpanner1 @hellothisisivan Oh bravo!

[606 Distribution 〓〓 @606Distribution]

Never been to an opera? LA TRAVIATA at @OmniplexUK Wigan tomorrow is your perfect introduction. Shot as a film, you're not watching from the back row - you're in the room with Violetta. One day only!. Don't miss this. #LaTraviata https://t.co/eOugOcHMN1

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

"I'd like my monument to remind people of the transience of life"

"Sure. Something with wings. Tempus does after all fugit"

"good but can you give me more?"

"Maybe an hourglass?"

<snorts line>
"I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME MORE!"

<snorts massive line>
"I'VE FUCKING GOT YOU BRO!!!"

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@arthistorynews I always like the definition of architectures styles I heard years ago:

"Baroque is a legitimate architectural style; rococo is Donald Trump's bathroom."

This was even before he became president.

Great thread BTW.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@Leytonrocks PSG are the best team we've played this season by quite some way. I saw your draw a couple of weeks ago and thought it'd be easy to underestimate them.

Great footballing paradox though - Mbappe is much better now he's not at PSG, yet PSG are also better now Mbappe is at Real.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

In the end a tub of Celebrations comes down to a battle between right and wrong.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@Yogi_Gmusic @Mr_Jimbob I don't drink tea or coffee because I don't like them but I think most people don't, they just put stuff in to make it more bearable.

"and how do you take your red wine?" is my stock response when they say they love tea but with milk, sugar, syrup etc.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@roryisconfused @Leeekey What really amused me about the darts is that the "Kolo, Kolo Toure/Yaya, Yaya Toure" chant kept happening over and over again.

They're footballers not darts players so it makes little sense save that Brits seem to really enjoy a good communal belt-a-long

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@roryisconfused @Leeekey Yes, I was going to reply to the various Buffalo fans that their singing is led rather than spontaneous.

Tell them to watch 10 mins of the PDC World Darts final to understand the spontaneity which happens during the World final of a sport (yes darts is a sport. Just)

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@roryisconfused @Leeekey A British friend went to a baseball match and was amazed that the singing had to be led by an organ. He christened the organist "Mr. Have fun NOW", largely because it felt like he was not just leading it but authorising the singing at a particular moment.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

I wish I could take credit for this line but sadly it's my friend Jonathan's.

[Irwell Johnson @IrwellJohnson]

@hellothisisivan You got me excited it was on tonight!

[Hello, This is Ivan @hellothisisivan]

You’re my best.. best mate. I love you. You’re absolutely… WHY’S THAT CUNT LOOKING AT ME