fiona gallagher

CNU '18 🤘🏼 ΔΓ ⚓️ Shrek Enthusiast 💚

[Keifer @DannyVegito]

Jerry plotline: this girl I’ve been seeing is beautiful, but she chews with her mouth open

Kramer plotline:

[Sarah McGonagall @gothspiderbitch]

I mean, you can wear whatever you want, no one is stopping you. But these particular women are dressed like this because they are cyborgs who are being remotely controlled by their insecure husbands who secretly implanted microchips into their brains to eternally enslave them.

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

I don’t want prestige TV, I want comfort shows with thirty-six episode seasons where at least three episodes are holiday-themed and ten of them are the worst thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

[descriptive display name that is way too long and @mrgracemugabe]

that’s a cool tv man. can i hold the remote and slide the battery lid open and shut over and over again?

[Armand Domalewski @ArmandDoma]

Nobody wants to work anymore

[celia @_celia_bedelia_]

Statistically speaking, your wife and daughters are in more danger from you than they would ever be from a trans women.

[Niccoya @niccoyat]

I’m glad they don’t have infomercials like they used to because I am a easily influenced young adult. I NEED THAT BAG.

[latke @latkedelrey]

strict parents don’t know how to cope with having an adult child so they have to make up problems. four years ago someone found my wallet outside and dropped it off at a precinct. the police called to return it. to this day my mother refers to it as my “run in with the police”

[ADAMDEVINE @ADAMDEVINE]

As a guy who loves movies and tv it’s cool to be in Variety but this is misleading. I like Marvel and think these movies are cool. I was saying that studios (in trying to compete with Marvel) have stopped making mid budget comedies. I miss seeing comedy in the theaters!

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

can’t believe I have one wild & precious life and I’m spending it terrified to answer an email

[Spencer Rothbell @srothbell]

remember folks this is what's really happening here...

[Tom Zohar @TomZohar]

He just can’t get it right

[Michael 🇺🇸 @_JeanLannes]

Today I learned you can just send JWs to people's houses. It doesn't even need to be your own.

[Kirsty @DoodlebopsH8Acc]

Horses when they find out patriarchy isn’t about them

[Jen Richards @SmartAssJen]

The writers and actors were joined by striking flight attendants and hotel workers on the picket line today. This country is being forced to decide between access to a decent life for 99% of us, or letting the richest people in the world get even richer. That's the fight.

[Fortesa Latifi @hifortesa]

sorry, weird barbie can't be bought, she must be made <3

[mr locke sportello @BenShh1]

i like The Bear a lot but if i lived in Chicago and my local sandwich place got replaced by a restaurant where you pay 37 dollars for a plate with two bites of fish and a drizzle of sauce on it i’d be pissed