“remind me your age again”
“you should listen to your grownups”
“im way too grown for you sweetheart”
“you’re so mature for your age”
“im old enough to be your dad”
<3
Big fan of talking down to them:
“Aww, poor baby… can’t keep up? Did that break your brain, tiny?”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll take care of it, your little puppy brain will just get all confused”
“It’s okay if you’re not smart enough to understand, little one… I like you as you are”
“You’re so cute when you try to think
“Did it break again, baby?”
“The only things you have to remember are to nod and say please. Think you do that for me? Or is it too hard for your pretty head?”
“Shhh, no more questions, baby. Questions are for smart people, not for pretty little things like you, do you understand?”