Isidro Ridout

'Live the life you love, love the life you live'
One day I'll own three ferrets and a tarantula and I'll live with a rich good-looking guy...probably won't...

[crybaby @CasualCrybaby_]

Me after watching The Haunting of Hill House till 3am

[Kevín @KevOnStage]

I don't usually yell at my kids. But he deserved it.

[Abam @AdamBroud]

Flight Attendant: Help! Is there a doctor on board???

Weird Aunt: *holding bottle of lavender essential oils* I have something even better

[smol dog @sm0ldog]

*is out with gemini friend* table for 3 please

[George M Johnson Garçon @IamGMJohnson]

Me switching to a Carnival Cruise instead of the Amistad #IfSlaveryWasAChoice

[valerie. @stfuvalerie]

I just wish white men could stop talking to me at this point

[Stuts. @OfficiallyStuts]

Optician: Is it better with 1.......or 2?

Me: Uuuuuuuh

[☁️ @milktw0rld]

tedtalks but does tedlisten :-(

[🥩 @prfctratcarcass]

1. how did he do this
2. why did he do this

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

[spits out tide pod]
"But if that was in my mouth..."
[cut to me placing a piping hot lasagna into my washing machine]

[chuuch @ch000ch]

(leaves a romantic trail of tide pods to the bedroom)