Courtney

[Netflix Family @netflixfamily]

What's up with us parents and roofs?

“I put a roof over your head!”
“As long as you’re living under my roof… ”

Why not “over my linoleum" or “not while you’re among my fake succulents, young man!”

[Oregon Zoo @OregonZoo]

Mei Mei plays many important roles:
✅ treat detective
✅ branch manager
✅ snacking queen
✅ bamboo quality inspector

[HillaryJane (HJ) @itsHillaryJane]

Jesus didn’t just die FOR You.
Jesus died INSTEAD of you.
Let that sink in...

[Kassy Akiva @KassyAkiva]

"On our worst day, we are blessed to be American." -@NikkiHaley

[RaesBeans @beans_rae]

It's okay if you fall apart sometimes,

Tacos fall apart and we still love them.

#quoteoftheday

[Collin Harvey ن 🦍 @CelloC]

#Endgame.

Wow.

Just... wow.

Also, this was in the theater lobby tonight. I died. 😂

[Charlie Sykes @SykesCharlie]

This is remarkable. Rahm is🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[Erin De Boer @erin_de_boer]

Good parenting is hearing a loud bang, and automatically yelling, “STOP DOING THAT!”

[Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues]

Friend: Did you already eat or do you want to get some food?

Me: Correct.

[Stephanie Ortiz @Six_Pack_Mom]

9y.o: “Can we watch this movie again?”

Me: “No- you’ve watched it like every single day!”

9: “Yeah, but you drink coffee every single day & it brings YOU joy, so...”

[AJ McCord @AJ_McCord]

✅Able-bodied athlete for @Saxoninfo JV volleyball team 🏐
✅@USParalympics hopeful with @TeamUSA's sitting volleyball 🏐

@flood_annie4 is balancing it all, and has her eyes set on Tokyo in 2020 💪

FULL STORY: https://t.co/LlCRmbzZm9

[CBS News @CBSNews]

A police chief in Texas was brought to tears when he swore in a 6-year-old girl as an honorary officer. She has an incurable cancer, and wants to become a cop so she can fight the "bad guys in her body" 💖 https://t.co/eQmpgwEYoX

[Nikki Haley @NikkiHaley]

Why is it that I can negotiate with China and Russia and struggle figuring out Uber? 🤦🏽‍♀️
#PayAttentionToDetails

[Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues]

Well, I took the boys grocery shopping after daycare and half way through the aisles I realized 2 was so hungry he had bitten through the bag and had eaten about half a cob of corn.

So I’m feeling pretty stellar about my parenting right now, thanks for asking.

[Courtney @issavedbygrace_]

🤦🏼‍♀️

[Netflix @netflix]

Can’t believe I have to say this, but: PLEASE DO NOT HURT YOURSELVES WITH THIS BIRD BOX CHALLENGE. We don’t know how this started, and we appreciate the love, but Boy and Girl have just one wish for 2019 and it is that you not end up in the hospital due to memes.

[Nikki Haley @NikkiHaley]

My first official act as a private citizen after 8 years in public service....downloaded @Uber!

[Ben Shapiro @benshapiro]

A friend just wants second breakfast, but ends up being dragged through several epic battles and nearly dying repeatedly.

[Jen Fulwiler @jenfulwiler]

My husband is available if anyone would like gift wrapping lessons

[Fisher of Meh 🐟 @fisherofmeh]

For you single men, to understand what type of man women think is ideal, look to the Hallmark Channel. Make yourself as much like those men as possible. How you become a widower single dad is your business.

[Lila Rose @LilaGraceRose]

At the moment of fertilization, a unique human's DNA is present.

A person who can never be replicated.

A single thread of her DNA contains information equivalent to 600,000 printed pages with 500 words per page.

Life is an intricately and intelligently designed miracle.