Shambles

it's just that if we tweeted from our personal accounts someone would hold another intervention

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

GUESS👏🏽WHO👏🏽STILL👏🏽CAN'T👏🏽SLEEP

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

Yessssss. Sweeeet talkin'

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

trying to figure out what to do with the dog I'm sitting while I have sex with someone else when we both live out of our cars life is a magical mystery tour

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

"where's a dark parking lot/do you have condoms?" texts that have now been exchanged

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

It probably is fake.

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

But also I think I'm in a happy relationship right now and my brain is actively trying to fuck It up and I just can't make sense of this

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

Okay.... sounds fake but okay...

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

I bought a vibrator ...that's about the extent of an update I have on my life right now

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

PLAYING CATCH UP HERE. Partially jealous of your being-in-a-relationship-without-knowing-It because when I'm in a relationship I'm freaking the fuck out every damn day.

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

Then things took a turn and we started having sex (honestly, if I had known this was what break up sex was like I would have started agreeing to label relationships just so I could have it) AND IN THE MIDDLE OF IT I briefly revisited how upset I had been earlier in the evening

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

and had the panicked thought "oh FUCK am I going to start crying again?!"

But don't fear, I played through the pain.
Anyways, as it turns out, ultimately, I was in a relationship for eight months.
The end.

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

There was a lot of crying on my part (which is how I so astutely ascertained that it was, in fact, a real relationship in which I had an actual emotional stake) then he revealed HE had known it was a relationship the entire time (the dramatic irony!) - "then this is a break up"

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

the moment of clarity was immediately calming and relieving: "in hindsight, this is a relationship," sigh "and it has run its course"

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

last night I defined the second relationship of my entire life and then immediately ended it

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

GUESS WHO ISN'T LATE RIGHT NOW BUT IS WALKING IN LATE BECAUSE OF THE CO-OWNER OF THIS TWITTER FEED YES THAT'S RIGHT

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

My brain is always planning for everything to blow up in my face

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

"Man I can't figure out what's causing these knots in my stomach," - me, drinking stale sweet tea out of a milk jug and crushing Fritos down my throat at 11 am

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

This is somehow intertwined with intimacy and trust issues but that's your therapist's problem

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

This is now a stipulation for trad climbing with me - "will you sleep with me?" "Yes" "alright let's go plug some gear" *that's what she said* lol trad climbing euphemism

[Shambles @isthisacry4help]

Why have I slept with every guy I've trad climbed with. I've only been 3 times, but Jesus. Get it together, self.