Taylor Chandler LMFT

I help people break from toxic love cycles @iamtaylorchandler on IG

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

Ex. of communication:

Setting boundaries ahead of time so someone doesn’t run into invisible walls

Dialoguing through triggers rather than shutting down or criticizing / punishing

Praising for good things

Apologizing for mistakes and negative outcomes even when unintentional

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

Some ppl can’t wait for you to break a boundary they never set so they can call you needy or entitled, when really they just don’t like you.
You’ll feel clingy / crazy for overstepping a line you didn’t even know was there.
Silly game.

Deal w/ ppl who communicate, not just talk.

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

Healing is helpful but what’s also helpful is understanding many generations and even present-day civilizations have been able to keep relationships together without combing through traumas and healing until they were “whole enough” to be with someone else.

We could consider 👉🏾

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

The value of…

Commitment
Faithfulness
Sticking with decisions

Just wondering…

What if the biggest problem is not that people are so unhealed. What if it’s:

Short attention spans
Believing if you’re not happy, it’s not worth it
Personal goals over family goals
👉🏾
(2/4)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

You might read something like that and say “just because someone kept the relationship together doesn’t mean they were happy.”

And that’s part of my point.

We can be so magnetized and obsessed with “our best (individual) life” that we rush to wonder what’s in it for me?
👉🏾
3/4

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

As with most things, I believe balance is great. To have personal goals and desires and get them along with other-/communal goals.

But when self-goals are prioritized over family / communal goals, how can the family be kept together?

Both are great but priority matters. (4/4)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

@Patreon if someone signs up for a $50 monthly membership today and a creator cancels their entire account tomorrow, what happens to their money?

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

It’s one thing to make a bad choice.

It’s another thing to lie about it.

Anyone who intentionally tries to get you to believe a reality they know is not real should be taken seriously.

Don’t be surprised when someone who will do it with a small thing does it with a big thing.

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

HIGH ACHIEVING WOMEN

Ask your therapist/coach about these 3 things:

-balancing accomplishment and relationship
-reducing intensity in your real life so ppl can relax around you
-balancing being “right” / having a point without shutting someone else down

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

“I’m going to feel this way forever” people

and

“I feel nothing forever” people

are in two different worlds having very different experiences.

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

How do you talk the most about what you NOT gonna do for somebody then wonder why you don’t have anybody

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

People can be Nice and Misaligned with you at the same time. 👉🏾 (1/4)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

You can stay in relationships that aren’t for you for too long. Second-guessing yourself bc they’re not doing anything wildly wrong, while another message is tugging at your heart.

If you don’t pay attention to this, you slowly lose track of yourself

Bc they’re nice. 👉🏾 (2/4)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

If you find yourself in this position,

Feels like you can’t go and feels like you can’t stay -

Rather than paying attention to someone’s nice tone, positive word choice, or sweet gestures towards you,

Start paying attention to the way YOU feel about you. 👉🏾 (3/4)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

Begin prioritizing your ENTIRE experience, rather than settling for moments you are appeased, but battling yourself underneath.

Read the caption for more guidance with this 👇🏾(4/4)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

One of the most confusing things for people doing their internal work is that they feel healthier and more confident,

but some of their relationships feel like they’re getting worse. 👉🏾 (1/7)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

Understand when you’re unhealthy - i.e. lack consistent and good boundaries, don’t speak up, work to please others while you grow more dissatisfied, let sooo many things slide and still show up anyway -

the ppl you were in relationships with matched that version of you. 👉🏾 (2/7)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

When you start doing the right things for yourself and grow your self-respect,

those relationships that relied on you thinking less of yourself and less valuable than the other person are almost immediately at risk. Like… 👉🏾 (3/7)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

…When someone can’t just talk to you however anymore because you know how you need to be treated,

When someone can’t tell you who you are because you already know,

It can literally feel offensive to them that you don’t allow them to do what they used to do. 👉🏾 (4/7)

[Taylor Chandler LMFT @itaylorchandler]

As if you doing the right thing for you or setting boundaries with them means that you are somehow disrespecting them.

DO NOT LET THE GASLIGHT GET YOU!

Don’t get knocked off your square one more time. 👉🏾 (5/7)