Donald Duck

The parody account for Donald Duck.
I am in no way affiliated with Disney.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

Whats the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

Oh, your job on Facebook is titled "selling weed" and you live in "Compton. I smell your successful future.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

Apple is coming out with a product for Asians.... the iOpener

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

When you squeeze that pimple and it doesnt pop, so it stings like a bitch.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

Some bitches put the randomest fuckery on Facebook.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

If pluto isn't a plantet. Then midgets aren't people.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

I want to throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

Cee Lo Green is no doubt the black jesus.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

Just finished charging my iPhone. Lets see how long the batte la-

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

What's in common between a rubix cube and a penis? The longer you play with it, the harder it gets.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

If someone has sex with a bipolar chick, is that a threesome?

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

#AdmitThat you've mistaken the McFlurry spoon for a straw.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

#ThatAwkwardMoment when you say "Hi" to somebody and they don't say "Hi" back.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

School is like a boner. Its long and hard... unless your an asian.

[Donald Duck @itsDonaldDuck]

Want a new phone? Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ with a very sharp object.