Jake F

Smokin' Jesus titty cinnamon! That is a MONSTER! This gonna be SWEET!

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Herring talk with farts and it was discovered by confused Swedish military sonar operators. Thanks @hankgreen et al, you are doing very important work

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

If you're in a kayak or on a speedboat you are its captain

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Budgeting and dieting are important and that but dying skinny is like dying rich. I won't need money where I'm going and I probably won't be doing much cardio either

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Ollivander always commented the length, wood and core of the wand but never the girth

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Did anyone actually prefer the Secret Seven to the Famous Five?

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

We should call the observable universe the Hubble Bubble

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Alternative/additional: 'Parmetto', built thus:
> schnitzel
> ham
> tomato sauce
> cheese
> Cornetto
(> ???)

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Product idea: Palmetto. A Cornetto without the cone - ice cream straight into your palm. Have it @walls @dogoon

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Determined to make fetch happen

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Was the Ides of March the original intervention?

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

I hope if I get kidnapped by cannibals and cooked up in a big cauldron they use a stock cube that goes off like a bath bomb

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Never take steroids! A steroid killed all the dinosaurs

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

I got main course energy

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Latest in a series of pleasing oxymora and discordancies: confidently moist

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Wishing the future Mr. and Mrs. Ketchum-Addams luck on their big day tomorrow

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Whole-heartedly half-arsed

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

I was thinking about The Bear and about how Monica from Friends is a chef

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

I usually feel pretty ambivalent about the world and stuff but when I take psychedelics I become omnivalent

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

If we're calling dumbwaiters that we should call lifts dumbescalators

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Is crispy a type of crunchy?

[Jake F @itsZombieJake]

Unapologetically wholesome