J!

VP of Diversity, Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc.

[J! @itsallj]

No one told me that acting like I’m rich was going to be this expensive…

[J! @itsallj]

@aCeDru @MichaelRedd_ Based on the phrase “the king is dead; long live the king” meaning that while a leader’s loss is mourned, there’s faith that new leader will emerge and the kingdom will still thrive

[J! @itsallj]

@bucks #retire13

[Ballislife.com @Ballislife]

HBD Glenn "Big Dog" Robinson!

◾️ NCAA Great
◾️ 1st pick in the NBA draft
◾️ NBA Champion
◾️ 2 x All-Star
◾️ Averaged 20+ PTS in 8 of his first 9 seasons (18.4 in the other)

[J! @itsallj]

@FanDuelSN_WI For the love of christ, please fix your sound issues

[J! @itsallj]

And finally (likely)…

24-karat gold toothpaste. Contains hydroxyapatite to help strengthen and rebuild enamel. Also contains gold, because it’s gold.

AED 165 ($45)
Matching toothbrush: AED 249 ($68)

[J! @itsallj]

I continuously get sponsored tweets for Cadillacs, Porsches and Bitcoin investments and I just want to know how rich the Twitter algorithms think I am.

[J! @itsallj]

I did it. I reached the pinnacle of demography, and I can “afford” a Rolls Royce Ghost.

And it makes sense, because if I have enough money to buy a house, why would I spend it on something idiotic… like… a house? I’d take the car 100 times out of 100.

$400,000, estimated

[J! @itsallj]

So much Black Excellence in today’s ⁦@NYTGames⁩ Crossword. (And it’s the first time I’ve completed a Tuesday puzzle.) https://t.co/o6plG8tzwg

[J! @itsallj]

People have the choice between voting for a woman and voting for their own demise, and some of y’all are really out here like “ya know, maybe life would be better without me in it.”

Unbelievable.

[J! @itsallj]

Bucks should relegate themselves back to the red and green jerseys until they figure this shit out.

[Milwaukee Bucks @Bucks]

Battled.

[J! @itsallj]

The #gunflinger strikes again.

[Detroit Lions @Lions]

KERBALICIOUS PICK-6 🚨🚨🚨

#DETvsGB 📺 FOX

[J! @itsallj]

Tom Brady commentary is like Tony Romo commentary overdosed on Valium. Wake me up at halftime.

[J! @itsallj]

Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait… where did these white Packers helmets come from?

[J! @itsallj]

*cough*

[J! @itsallj]

Jordan Love consistently thinks he can throw 15 yards longer than he actually does. And it shows at least once every game.

[J! @itsallj]

This happens every game, no matter who the Bears are playing.

[J! @itsallj]

Is this the most ill-advised throw in Packers history?

[Green Bay Packers @packers]

DEEP TO REED!

#GBvsLAR

[J! @itsallj]

And I can do without the calls. The worst part about this? I can’t get any verification codes. I can’t do anything with my bank. Can’t check my prescription. Can’t buy a video game. Can’t even get the food I want delivered.

[J! @itsallj]

My Verizon bill increases by $1.75 every month but somehow they can’t prevent my phone from turning into a thousand-dollar paperweight.

[J! @itsallj]

Whew… I think I dozed off for a few hours and had a dream that the @Packers had a great defense. That was wild…

Anyway, how’s the game going?

[J! @itsallj]

This needs to be remembered. #Debate2024

[Julia Ioffe @juliaioffe]

Hillary Clinton also won the debates against Donald Trump.

[J! @itsallj]

@JusticeA4 Yea... you're right...

[J! @itsallj]

Why am I watching this? #Debate2024