Andrew 🩵

your thoughtless ambition, sparked the ignition❤️‍🔥

[Esluva 🎀 @Vesper_2005]

How it feels when the soda burp comes out ur nose

[T @dfwtee_]

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE.

[gunnar @GunnzMetzger]

bitch if u need a 2nd opinion just ask me twice

[Cello/Phn @Cellowphane]

Salem would have had her set to broil by noon

[shay @boylikeshay]

Just seen my password that I use for all my accounts on a license plate

[. @TyyTyra]

my CPR certification just for show & tell😭don’t fall out round me !

[meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith]

just stomped on the geico gecko and the sound it made was crazy. like wet fireworks

[josef k hole @poeticdweller]

Sorry for being such a bitch yesterday i havent had an ice cream cone in like 4 days

[daniel @4skip0]

i have to go run some aarons

[Paxxiana Benihana @paxxiefbaby]

whoever created deodorant was fed the hell up

[. @TyyTyra]

a nurse just asked me what “DNR” mean baby lemme report you to HR

[P @theogpooh]

We in a dookiedemic and I don’t see toilet paper flying off the shelves like during Covid???

[Nicholas Rice @NicholasARice]

When you really think about it, this truly is one of our greatest cultural moments

[TSA @TSA]

“It’s not on your website”

Oh, ok... apologies, we didn’t realize you were going to bring part of a FIRE HYDRANT to the airport.

[Ichigo Niggasake @SomaKazima2]

Bitch was there a dragon in there?! Why is it so aggressive omg

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

bro did your hologram seriously just stumble into my apartment

[drew ☁️ @dailytaylorteaa]

taylor says “i do.”

*taylor & travis kiss*

*taylor stops kissing him and pauses*

“and i DO have my 13th album coming out August 19th and you can pre-order it now on my site as a wedding gift!”

[blaire @pissshit90001]

When I mess up I just think about how someone went to work one day and did Chernobyl

[𝐉✰𝐙𝐋𝐘𝐍 @jazlynfaiithh]

absolutely not.

[cow @cowincrisis]

thank you @googlemaps