CHELSEA KING

ADULT BRAT

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

I never tweet anymore, but I spent a couple hours on the phone today with @PayPal trying to resolve an issue, and they were entirely unhelpful and hung up on me. All I am asking for is a little seller protection, guys.

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

@ElJordanoDiablo @Pastry_Wizard @mikecavanaughty @WWERollins @WWERomanReigns Fuck Dean, marry Roman, kill Seth.

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

They should replace @ByronSaxton with @ReneeYoungWWE too. #wwe #smackdown

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

My blood pressure was a little high at my doctor’s appointment yesterday, but I think it’s because I was looking at Idris Elba on the cover of Entertainment Weekly.

[Devon Newson @NewsOnDevon]

While stand-up comedy is already masturbating in front of people, it’s a shame that more familiar comedians than you would think (local and national) are private creeps.

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

“Pat Catan’s doesn’t have any cool doll heads anymore.” - The most on-brand thing I’ve ever said

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

OMG why is my boyfriend obsessed with Len?! https://t.co/qcXt9EkATI

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

@ElJordanoDiablo Your girlfriend DOES love Mariah Carey though.

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I FELT SO BETRAYED AS WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT POLAR POPS HAVE DOWNSIZED FROM 32 OZ TO A MEAGER 30 OZ.

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

HEY JOHN MELLENCAMP, I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN A LITTLE PINK HOUSE AND THOUGHT, "AIN'T THAT AMERICA?" #CoolTweet

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

FULLER, GO EASY ON THE PEPSI!

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

I LOST MY VOICE TODAY, BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, MY MARTY FUNKHOUSER IMPRESSION HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER.

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

I HOPE THIS ADULT REMEDIAL DRIVING COURSE IS JUST 8 HOURS OF SITTING ON A STOOL IN A DUNCE CAP.

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

I ONLY HAVE FOUR DAYS LEFT TO BE ABLE TO DIE AT THE AGE OF 27!

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP ON THE BUS

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

TWICE THIS WEEK I HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP WHILE PAINTING MY NAILS.

[CHELSEA KING @itschelseaking]

STARBUCKS NEVER SPELLS MY NAME WRONG 😥😥😥