It's Cold as Balls

It's Cold as Balls are proud to provide you with Asheville area weather conditions in concise, no-nonsense terms.

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

Man, the TV news media truly is racist. On every channel, they keep repeating how everyone needs to watch out for black guys on the road. #avlwx #asheville #avl #avlsnomg

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

I don't think Winter Storm Izzy is going to be too rough in #Atlanta, but there is absolutely no way it will be as intolerable or damaging as this one was. #izzy #atlwx #ATL #AtlantaWeather #whatizit #olympics

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

OK time to brace yourselves fools, we might have a whole foot coming in there! @itscoldasballs is back, and at your cervix!

[AshevilleWX @Hvward]

Mid day model suites continue to dhow a powerful Winter Storm affecting WNC. Here are my latest thoughts on model progress and I also give very preliminary thoughts on how much accumulation could occur around the area! #ncwx

https://t.co/rHsUWurasL

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

IT IS!!! Cold as balls. Big hairy frozen balls. #avlwx #avlnews #avl #ncwx

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

It's wetter than R.Kelly's sheets out there, Asheville!

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

Ok, AVLiens. Looks like we gotta all come together and beat the sleet! #avlwx #AVLnews 

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

Just a piddling amount of snow out there again, y'all. This year, Asheville's getting more dustings than a Monsanto crop. #avlwx #avlsnomg

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

It's so cold and icy out there in Asheville, I sat down for just a second and now my ass has polaroids! #avlwx #avlnews

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

Errebody in WNC be Tokyo driftin' #avlwx #avlnews #avl #avlsnomg

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

Sometimes, the weather can really put a damper on things. Right now, it's really putting a dampest on things. #avlwx #avlnews

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

Feeling all hot and bothered; I can't even remember the last time I had some 69 in December.

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

There's no power in Biltmore Park right now. At least none of the electric kind, I mean.

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

Did y'all feel the Marion, NC quake this morn?! I sure didn't, but I still can't feel much of anything at all after Moogfest anyway. #avlwx

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

Ahh Asheville, it's blowing harder than Jenna Jameson out there! However, it's only gonna produce limited amounts of the white stuff. #avlwx

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

It's moist as vagina out there today in WNC, as it looks like 2-3 inches are coming in. #avlwx

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

It's not as cold as balls yet, but the temp is descending that way down a happy trail. Low of 11 Celsius tonight, that's like, 284 Kelvin!

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

The Festival of Pain rtns this wknd, AVL! Forecast calls for horrible smells, idiotic preachers, and Budweisered wookies. #belechere #avlwx

[Earth Fare @EarthFare]

#ItsSoHot fireflies are sweating

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

It's so hot in AVL today, my balls are sticking to the side of your leg. It's so hot, even Carl Mumpower seems cool! #avlwx #avl #heatwave

[It's Cold as Balls @ItsColdasBalls]

If when it rains it pours, how come the grass isn't greener on my side? #avlwx