DIÑHO

I’m clearly joking: Comedian, musician, actor, voice actor, die hard vegan, indifferent to the flat Earth theory, and the list goes on

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

If Ms. Frizzle whipped the magic school bus into some of y’all’s noses, class would be in Columbia that episode. My goodness!

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

Woke up this morning and my internal dialogue said, “top of the morning crodie.”

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

I’m blood-curdlingly scared of all bugs but fruit flies don’t scare me. I find them to be a friend rather than a foe.

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

On the subway eavesdropping on a woman’s conversation with herself

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

Show some love to my dear pal Sillysandro on Instagram. Proud of him.

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

Dogs who ride the subway probably treat airplanes like Six Flags

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

I wonder if there are any stats on divorce rates of men who listen to divorced dad rock. Hopefully there’s no correlation!

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

Every Alec I’ve met has been a smart Alec and a fair amount of Nancy’s have been quite negative

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

@jmashmash Boots on the ground networking

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

Job market so fried I’m networking with people buying pistachios at Whole Foods

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

“Are you picking up what I’m putting down” is truly a slept on rhetorical device.

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

Maybe if we treated bigots the same way we treated people who like pineapple on pizza, we’d make progress

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

My last name Smith & Wesson…

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

Every time I take the subway it’s like the MTA is on strike

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

Giraffe sounds mad French

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

“Hit the slopes so much, I got an Epic Pass” - a rapper trying to cater towards the skiing and drug-using communities

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

My “Thank goodness I’m not driving” bit after quenching my thirst with 5 non-alcoholic beers has been a real hit across the New York Metropolitan bar scene.

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

I feel like celebrating sobriety is kind of like celebrating a marriage. When you’re 25 and up, it’s a beautiful thing but anything younger and there’s usually a brutally sad undertone at play.

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

Music business finals be like: “you’re signing an artist that has never seen more than $35 in their life. What deal do you offer them? A) a deal that helps them create generational wealth B) a 360 deal and unlimited percs

[DIÑHO @itscolderr]

I like to think people over the age 50 digest mumble rap the same way Charlie Brown hears anything an adult says