The Real Iyami

C'est moi, Iyami! I just got back from France!

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Escorted out of the zoo for arguing that being naked & gross in public is nothing special bc I do that too. Also for stealing food pellets

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Osomatsu-san S2 is running for best weekly anime of 2017, thanks to my brilliant performancé, no doubt! (it’s no Cannes Film Festival but it’s a start) You can vote for moi... I mean, for “”us”” at https://t.co/3byjZNnjbu!

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Stop prank calling the UMA Expedition Team hotline! It’s meant to be used for SERIOUS cryptid sighting tips only! The next funny guy who reports a sighting of a “ratman” digging through trash and giving my address as the location is getting their number blocked!

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

To the people who are (VERY RUDELY) inquiring about my recent romantiqué choices: um, excuse moi if I don't get hung up on mere details like physical beauté! The only thing that matters to moi in a mademoiselle is her heart! If she has a pulse, more specifically.

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Oh yes mademoiselle, I'm the best in town at arcade games! There's not a single arcade I... Chuck E. Cheese? Oh no, I was banned from there. Yeah, got in a fistfight with the giant rat. Thought someone put him there to make fun of moi

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Been asked how did it feel like for moi to get fused with Osomatsu. Not too differént from the usual actually? I spontaneously gained the knowledge of how to play Minecraft though

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Chibita said he's my friend 25% out of habit, 25% bc I'm a dangeur to myself & 50% out of pity. Not speaking w him again until I get hungry

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Ppl are asking moi why didnt I visit the Eiffel Tower if I was in France. Bc its in Las Vegas obviously! I was in NY! Failed geography much?

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Osomatsu told moi what me-mes are and I love them! The dancing baby, the numa numa guy, all your base... I'm a modern man! Hip with the kids

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Funny how if I bite someone I'm "a crazy person" but if a dog bites MOI then I "shouldn't have tried to eat its food" Double standards much?

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Having a bad day and don't want people talking to you? Well, you're in luck! For only 34¥/hour, I'll stand next to you and be myself

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

I like to ask "do you know who I am pal?!" when I'm accused of a crime. I mean I'll run away anyway but its harder for the police w/o a name

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Not saying I did it, but stores could AT LEAST use my selfies in their "known shoplifteurs" boards. Security camera pics are so unflattering

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Chibita told moi that I "act haughty and insult ppl bc I'm actually incredibly insecure". I told him to shut up and go buy a wig

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Uhyo! I agree! https://t.co/3aFmNHpgok

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Accidentally cut my hair too short on one side & now those awful sextupléts keep asking moi if I want to speak to a manageur. I hate them

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

All mushrooms are edible - but some only once! Uhyo! Send tweet. Siri find moi the nearest hospital

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

While u went to ur boring "jobs" I wrestled wild ducks over bread & never felt so alive! Unrelated: ripped off eyebrows DO grow back right

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

Why do I wear heels? Strategical thinking! Cops assume I can't run w them, drop their guard & I escape! Also, they make my calves look great

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

@leaf_kei It's called excess overjet & it's a medical condition! And chewing on doors isn't breaking in, treated wood is a great source of fibeurs and

[The Real Iyami @itsiyami]

@leaf_kei It's called excess overjet & it's a medical condition! And chewing on doors isn't breaking in, treated wood is a great source of fibeurs and