me? im chris✌️

do what you love and forever hold your peace~ me. @texasexes 🤘

[me? im chris✌️ @itsjustchrisbro]

you know, @justinbieber got discovered by posting clips of him performing...i think imma do the same

house show (standup comedy)- https://t.co/TVMcFAMnlk

[ᴄᴏᴢʏ @cozartii_]

Insane

[🫧 @lunecrumbss]

cute little parrot in a cute little raincoat

[me? im chris✌️ @itsjustchrisbro]

convinced nothing is worse than someone doing a worse version of your joke and it getting 1500+ shares 😒

[Mak @mak_aura]

do y’all understand how pissed you gotta be to ball your GLASSES up like toilet paper 😭😭

[me? im chris✌️ @itsjustchrisbro]

@zaydante stole
kanyes whole flow

[me? im chris✌️ @itsjustchrisbro]

@young_jefe601 pause

[John LeFevre @JohnLeFevre]

Things you learn in Texas:

1. The guy in the F-150 is worth a lot more than the dude in a Mercedes.

2. The small business owner from a state school is smarter than the majority of Ivy League grads.

3. There’s more racism in Connecticut country clubs than in rural honky-tonks.

4. Rednecks are more honorable than investment bankers.

5. The man who looks like he can’t afford the tab could buy the building.

6. They don’t ask for a deck before the meeting.

7. Prep school is where they send the problem kids.

8. If he’s wearing dusty boots, a 2XL Magellan shirt, a gold Rolex, and has a bulletproof case on his iPhone 12, you’ve already lost the negotiation.

9. “How’s business?” is a real question. “What do you do?” is a New York question.

10. Tips are bigger and egos are smaller.

11. A handshake still closes deals that a term sheet would kill.

12. The wealth is in real estate, oil, or a company nobody in Manhattan has ever heard of.

13. Your wife or daughter will never struggle finding help to change a tire.

14. Nobody asks where you went to college.

15. A weekend invitation to their ranch makes you part of the family.

[Venugopal PSV @venupsv]

@OrevaZSN 2.0

[Austine @theereal_one]

Someone said Mamdani became Mayor just to get rid of everything that pissed him off as an individual & I believe that. Lmao

[me? im chris✌️ @itsjustchrisbro]

@young_jefe601 brown hate is insane this year

[Fireside Prime @firesideprime]

Brad Pitt says every instinct in an F1 car tells you to lift off the gas, but that sends you off the track, so you need to trust the car

"The first time I got in, I just could not believe you could take corners at these speeds and the car would stick."

"Every impulse is to get off the gas. But you do that, you destabilize, and they actually will, you'll go wide. Then you'll go off the track. So, you actually need to stay on it."

"They say if you're not on the gas or you're not on the brake, you're not driving the car and you're upsetting the car."

"So it was that, I just kept saying, 'Trust the car. Trust the car.' I like had this mantra going in my head. This is like week one. Trust the car. Trust the car. And then the braking capabilities are shocking."

[me? im chris✌️ @itsjustchrisbro]

lets skedaddle🤓

[Adam Loewy @LoewyLawFirm]

My 6 year old: “I know we don’t root for Texas A&M but what happens when they play Oklahoma? Who do we root for?”

Me: “That’s a very difficult question”

[Gála†as @sigagalatas]

O veterinário falando que o cachorro tava com pressão alta e meu pai respondendo que é uma coisa da nossa família

[Fireball @CleanRas]

This trend is so Fxcking funny… LMAO

[sisyphus bar and grill @barsisyphus]

over the course of this 4 hour flight the rather trim person next to me has consumed:
- a cinnamon bun
- two cans of ginger ale
- a bag of doritos
- a bag of peanut M&Ms
- two entire kiwis
- a bag of gardettos
- a protein bar

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

mf thats literally an iPod 😭