Kelp

The misadventures of an ethereal, miniature deep-sea diver, fishbowl figurine

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

My latest song came out on Friday there:

https://t.co/3MEEIEgmOq

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

Today’s Headlines
Disgustingly rich people break the law, forever, with no consequences

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

Just cycled passed two fellas loadin a coffin into a hearse, chattin away to eachother. I says “yous dead today aye?”

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

@ThisIsIreland3 I heard if you’re in Westmeath and you head far enough east you’ll end up in west Meath

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

Aw yeah, back on the best online radio station about. Bookending this playlist with @cmatbaby 👋

[Ben McCormack Radio @MccormackShow]

On air 7pm tonight: Fresh Éire on Over The West Online Radio — one hour of the best contemporary Irish sounds. #FreshÉire #SupportIrishMusic

@otwonlineradio @cmatbaby @katie_phelan_ @KatharineTMoney @sodablonde @elainemai @KhakiKid @itskelpmusic

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

Been cleaning a spider web off my wing mirror every day, exact same place, for like a week and today I finally came face to face with the spider and we just looked at each other like

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

Get it

[Brand New Tracks @brandnewtrackz]

Enjoy @itskelpmusic here https://t.co/CSsHZhOhnE

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

New song out next week

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

@Antunes1 My new SCAM will be to forever call it the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax, and my CURRENT supporters will buy into this "bullshit," hook, line, and sinker.

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

Idea:
Start renting amazing, huge, commercial city centre property. Offer extremely successful and wealthy company free rent in the building if they make me their CEO. The first month rent bounces (obviously) company gets evicted, but I’m still CEO

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

Number of human lives taken:

Netanyahu, Israel, IDF: 56,000

Kneecap, Bob Vylan: 0

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

@TrueFactsStated Washington compost is the cleverest thing he’s ever said, but the bar is low

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

RIP the cracker tweet I thought of earlier and forgot

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

The peach emoji needs to calm down though

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

@WarClandestine Local bands be like

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

Dystopian sentiment of the day: I hope I win the grand national so I can pay my car insurance

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

@Acyn

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

Broken fridge? That’s not cool

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

See if you’re about cathedral quarter tomorrow, call into @TheMACBelfast where myself and other artists will be showcasing some cutting edge digital and immersive projects. Big thanks to the @ArtsCouncilNI for setting it up

[Kelp @itskelpmusic]

If the pope dies, he goes to heaven (he thinks) and you get a brand spanking new pope, why they prayin for him to get better