Laurie

Chronically online

[Moniza Hossain @moniza_hossain]

What we’re not about to do is let AI have the em dash. The em dash belongs to human writers. It’s our emotional support punctuation mark

[Ruth Husko @dank_ackroyd]

Kara Rosen with two rice cakes: I like something carby at lunch 🤭

Me scooping hash browns into a baguette using a 12 inch garlic naan: you what

[brent @murrman5]

[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy
[friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

[Roob @roob_drummer]

snowing hard this morning. Bus driver slid through a red light. Only thing he said was “we slidin” i cant stop thinking about this

[Karly Kingsley @karlykingsley]

Tell me more about how you’re deeply concerned that men are transitioning just to prey on women in bathrooms but you’re not concerned at all about the men who are preying on women out in the open and becoming elected officials.

[no context veep @nocontextvp]

there are veep parallels everywhere for those with the eyes to see

[sulky . . @sulky80715248]

it's Be Nice to Me November

[bug girl @buggirl]

so unfortunately smoking cigarettes does make you look really cool. especially if you’re a girl. it really sucks about the whole cancer part because it truly looks phenomenally sick

[ICHIBAN BABY @DemiCaruso]

Spiders watching everyone decorate their houses with fake cobwebs for Halloween after knocking down their webs all year

[Charlie James @malecowgirl]

"tom cruise does his own stunts" ok? so do i. i just have fewer stunts to do. fewer stunts are being asked of me

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

“talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend” ummm why would i do that? my friends are all perfect beautiful angels & i am god’s least favorite slug

[amy from wisconsin @amyy_claire]

too poor for ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. is there a secret third option

[💜 @stonephile]

The vibe i bring to the function

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Taking a break after 500 words of terrible writing

[rose @wynrosei]

being mirror pretty and not camera pretty is seriously damaging my health

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

I can play it by ear if I have advance notice that we are going to be playing it by ear

[jbolina jolie @pastapilled]

the curse