Nobody tells you how hard it is to rewire your brain so you can allow amazing things to happen to you after so much trauma or hurt. Blessings exist, good people exist, a softer life exists. Let it happen.
Highly recommend letting people know you're capable of madness from time to time. Especially as a quiet, soft spoken person. Disrespect sometimes needs to be met with disrespect... let people know you can go from O to Thanos real quick...