1 thing I learned while being sober - Day 241
I used to keep extra stuff on hand just so I could be the guy who always had it. If you needed something urgent, you called me. It felt good to be needed. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn't being cared about, I was being used and I was letting it happen because at least it felt like something
1 thing I learned while being sober — Day 240: Walking around LA and seeing homeless addicts feels different now. It’s not pity, it’s something closer to like, survivor’s guilt. Because I got out. I don’t fully know why I did, and they haven’t
Attacking trans people online is so weird to me, it makes me feel bad for them because it shows how much anger and hate is in their heart. And it must suck to live with no peace tbh.
@madsdemi Me when I think about sitting on the floor of my half furnished apartment, haven’t slept in two days, sweating at 4am and taking another 300mg of Adderall to make a kick ass video that I never end up posting and then doing the same thing the next day
Addiction is so hard to stay on top of because I’ve hit that low point once, and my mind still thinks it wasn’t “that bad.” Meanwhile, everyday I’m trying to build back up and I get fatigued AND future trip, I wind up in this “fuck it” attitude and thats such a dangerous place
My YouTube was terminated because of a hacker @TeamYouTube are they able to still recover my account? I filled out the form you sent me but I’m super worried that it’s gone for good