Cousin from Baguio

I write fresh jokes about my bery highland hometown. With that said, will you please give me the kwa.

(Currently on indefinite break, busy growing sayote)

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

Side announcement under this makapaboksing nga joke. Cheers kakabsat! 🍻

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

baka mabasam miss hehehe

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

narrator: …and so today, November 11th, cousin could not think of a joke.

me: ugh awan mt ti gamin joke generator ko?

narrator: yes, awan mt lang ti joke ko cousin

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

[trying to decide]

friend: … sika man?

me: yes. siyak man. sika woman. datayo tao. bagam lang nu ada py question mo frend

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

[comedy show]

audience: (quiet)

comedian: ... wala bang tawa jan?

me, from the back: ada maysa ngem nakarikep

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

[job interview]

manager: it says here you took night classes on Marketing?

me, wearing an outfit nga nagapo night market: ah yes hehe

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

*looking at a menu*

friends: anya kanen tayo ngay?

me: dakayo man.

the wooden man: han ak nga naimas bro

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

never stop grinding 😤 give it 100% aldaw and all night

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

me: i'm jealos.

friend: you need to add a 'u'.

me: *stands further away* i still feel jealos?

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

highland journalism questions

Who?
Why?
What?
What what?
Where is the watwat?
When is the watwat?
Why is there watwat?
How can we get to the watwat?

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

before you arrive at Kisad ket you might have to pass through Kirejected and Kiheartbroken first

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

[bringing my crush to my hometown]

crush: wow, cool place

me: aheh yah actually even colder py nu december hehej

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

[doctor’s office]

me: i just can’t seem to fall asleep doc. anya ngata problema kanyak?

doc: Insomnya dayta.

me: haan ko garud ammo. ken haan nga Insom ti nagan ko doc

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

everyday kukot weather ngem everyday puyat ak ladta met 👁️👄👁️

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

talaga nga there's more nu ado ta nu less ket subtracto

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

locally, only abanao has sunshine 7 days a week.

8AM to 8PM diyay hours ti supermart thanks 👍

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

Baguio phases of the sun:

- sunrise
- sunset
- sun mo makita for 2 weeks

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

no bagyo can defeat baguio ta baguio has u and i ✨✨

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

my cousin, with his red-stained teeth and callused hands, dressed in his old black leather jacket, faded denim, and dusty boots, smelling of burnt pine wood, gin, and butchered pig:

"nya enta agbuya Barbie??"

[Cousin from Baguio @iugtan]

[me, as an advisor]

me: After careful analysis of the data, I conclude nga dakkel nga problema data ser