IRL_Colin_Robinson

I’m here to retweet Everett.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

I read the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.

Turns out you just gotta be a good person.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

If you’re mom calls it DUI instead DIY… she’s an immigrant.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

For Mother’s Day, save your mom from watching the new Batman movie.

It’s the worst.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

Will Farrell / John C Riley 2024

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

I am “blue water in the toilet bowl” rich. I’ve made it.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

Eating corn every other day helps me track my digestion.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

@DudespostingWs This is exactly why I carry wire cutters on me at all time. Happens all too often.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

When you’re young you experiment with drugs. When you’re done with that, you experiment with your vegetable broth.

I just threw an apple slice in mine.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

In school they made girls walk around with a heavy object. I forget what it was. Maybe watermelon. The girls were supposed to “take care” of the thing. This was to show how inconvenient a baby would be for a high schooler.

This was part of health class.

I love watermelons.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

Can you imagine building something so monumental and then calling it Wembley?

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

Donda forever.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

This is our first mumble rapper president.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

If you don’t rinse your dishes before loading them.. you go to jail.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

Let’s go to Panera and get a $12 microwaved sandwich. It comes with an apple. And you can fill your water cup up with Dr Pepper.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

It doesn’t matter what kind of pho I order, it always turns into Sriracha soup.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

Driving in FL with all these elderly drivers is like playing COD on expert mode.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

Camera doesn’t add 10lbs. It just takes the picture and shows you how fat you are.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

A polished turd is still a turd. But it’s all shiny.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

If you’re mad at someone for being too loud when they are getting ready in the morning.... they are way more mad at your lazy ass and don’t care.

[IRL_Colin_Robinson @ivanishkov]

Anne Frank probably would have become a belieber but in her mid thirties. Like everyone else.