fuji

Writing about my life through gaming and tech.

not dead yet

[fuji @ivanlafori]

@brittnaynay3 @msigaming I'm Feeling Lucky...

[Nay.Tesseract @brittnaynay3]

One of you is taking home this $12K MSI MEG PC 👀🔥🖤

How to enter:

1️⃣ Like this post
2️⃣ Follow @brittnaynay3 @msigaming
3️⃣ Comment + repost 🔁

That’s it! ✅

🌎 International where legally permitted. Full Terms & Conditions + extra entry opportunities are linked below in comment ⬇️

Good luck 🖤🔥

[fuji @ivanlafori]

I wanted to go pro.

Every game had to make me better.
Ranked only. Competitive only.
Story games? Waste of time.

Minecraft bored me to death.
No rank to climb. No improvement to track.

I couldn't play anything that didn't measure me.

This year I finished RE2 and RE4 remake. (bangers)

Realized I couldn't remember the last time I finished a story game.

I'd been optimizing for rank.
Missing out on experience.

One was performance.
One was presence.

Both have value.
I just forgot one existed.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

You think the next upgrade will bring the excitement back.

It won't.

You'll feel it for a week. Maybe two.

Then you're back here. Scrolling specs. Researching the next thing.

The problem isn't your gear.

It's that you're looking for external fixes to an internal problem.

Stop upgrading hardware.
Start showing up.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

Wake up at noon.

Watch streams until midnight.

Midnight: "Tomorrow I'm going to change."

Feel motivated. Energized. Ready.

Wake up at noon.
Open Twitch.
Repeat.

I did this for a year.

Every night: conviction.
Every morning: gone.

I wasn't watching for fun.
I was watching to avoid starting.

Close the stream.
Do one thing.
Break the loop or stay in it forever.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

You think you miss the old games.

You don't.

You miss being 13 with no responsibilities.
You miss summer breaks that felt forever.
You miss playing with friends who had time.

The game didn't change.

Your life did.

Instead of trying to resurrect the past.

Find what excites you now.

I'm on that mission too.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

The most engaged I ever was with gaming?

When I was pirating games for my Xbox 360.

Figuring out how to burn the discs.
Troubleshooting why they wouldn't run.
That first successful boot: magic.

Now I can afford any game I want.
I buy them. Don't play them for long.

Turns out the struggle to GET the game mattered more than the game itself.

Easy access killed the magic for me.

Anyone else experienced something similar?

[fuji @ivanlafori]

Sold my high-end PC out of necessity.

Needed the money more than the frames.

But something unexpected happened.

With the expensive setup:
"I should be playing demanding games"
"Why play indies on a $1500 rig?"

With the downgrade:
Play what I want.
Tweak settings to find the sweet spot.
Zero pressure to justify the hardware.

I didn't downgrade to prove a point. I downgraded because I had to.

Turns out the expensive PC came with expensive expectations.

Less power. More freedom.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

Back in the day:
Sit down. Play. Hours disappear. Pure focus.

Now:
All day at work: "Can't wait to play tonight"
Finally home: Load the game
5 minutes in: "Should I be doing something productive?"
Attention's already gone
Now you're forcing yourself to stay engaged
1 hour in: Close it, feel empty

The magic didn't leave the games.

Guilt killed it.

You spend all day wanting to play.
Then feel wrong for playing.

That's not a gaming problem.
That's a presence problem.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

I turned gaming into a job.

Every activity had to move me toward achievements.

Friend invites me to do something fun but "pointless"?
Annoyed. Waste of time.

I optimized for metrics.
I lost the meaning.

The achievements I remember?
The ones I got WITH friends on the journey.

The number itself? Meaningless.

But I sacrificed fun, presence, and friendship chasing it.

I became the serious guy.
The one who wasn't there to play.
The one tracking progress while everyone else was laughing.

If your friends feel like obstacles to your achievements:

You've already lost the game.

Stop grinding.
Start playing.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

Everyone says "I watch streams because they're entertaining."

Actually, you watch because gaming alone feels empty.
Streams give you the illusion of connection.

The chat. The community. The shared experience.

But you're not IN the experience.

You're watching someone else have it. I know because I did this for a year.

I was unemployed, depressed, and watched streams all day.

It felt like connection. It wasn't.

If you happen to watch more than you play:

You're not looking for entertainment.
You're looking for what gaming used to give you.

Turn off the stream.
Message a friend.
Play together.

Real connection > Parasocial observation.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

You pay for the subscription.
Rally your friends.
Get everyone hyped.

Day one: Everyone's on, just like old times.
Day two: You're bored. The activities feel meaningless.

Another $15 chasing a feeling that's gone.

You're not trying to play the game.
You're trying to replay a moment in your life.

The game didn't change.
Your circumstances did.

You had less responsibility.
More free time.
Nothing weighing on you.

That's what made it fun.
Not the game mechanics.

Stop trying to resurrect the past.
Be present for what's now.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

Me with a potato PC: Limited options, fully present, having fun.

Me with a high-end setup: Infinite options, absent, same games, debt.

The upgrade didn't upgrade my joy.
It gave me more things to think about.

I sold the dream setup.
Learning to be satisfied with less.

Because the magic was never in the hardware.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

You think games suck nowadays.
Actually, you suck at being present.

Your childhood games weren't better.
You were just fully there.

You game with Discord open.
Phone in hand.
Stream in the background.

Try playing an old favorite now.
Still feels off, right?

The game didn't change.
You did.

Turn everything off.
30 minutes.
One game.

Be there.

[Mindset Machine @mindsetmachine]

Change comes from within...

[fuji @ivanlafori]

La mejor habilidad que podemos aprender es pausar.

Pausar conversaciones, pausar actividades, pausar todo... por el tiempo que sea necesario para que nuestras emociones se regulen y tengamos claridad mental.

Es mejor actuar con la cabeza fría.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

En todas las áreas de la vida, los fundamentos son lo más importante.

Los fundamentos de nuestro cuerpo son una buena alimentación, luz solar, actividad física y sueño de calidad.

Domina estos fundamentos y la vida se hará más simple.

[fuji @ivanlafori]

Mis momentos más memorables de crecimiento personal han sido cuando he decidido tomar voluntariamente más responsabilidades a mi cargo.

[James Clear @JamesClear]

Dreams are fun when they are distant. The imagination loves to play with possibilities when there is no risk of failure.

But when you find yourself on the verge of action, you pause. You can feel the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Thoughts swirl. Maybe this isn't the right time? Failure is possible now.

In that moment—in that short pause that arises when you stand face to face with your dream—is the entirety of life. What you do in that pause is the crucible that forges you. It is the dividing line between being the type of person who thinks about it or the type of person who goes for it.

When I really think about it, I want that moment to be my legacy. Not that I won or lost. Not that I looked good or looked like a fool. But that when I had something I really wanted to do, I went for it.

[DAN KOE @thedankoe]

Build your own thing for the first hour every day. See where it takes you. Commit to it. Produce something of value that you weren't forced to produce to pay the bills or because your parents or teachers told you to. Your future self is begging you and I know you hear that voice.