istic- shedtwt

19. semi recovery, still engages w shedtwt. diagnosed w/ ana-r for 5 years MINORS DNI

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

new meds are making me bruise like crazy 😭 #bodycheck #edtwt

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

relapsing on self harm but it’s better than being an alcoholic so whatever LMAO if im gonna have an unhealthy coping mechanism i’d rather choose something that at least doesn’t completely destroy your life

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

i don’t post my cuts anymore because i think it’s unethical but im sad cuz i just did a cool one LOL

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

nos hade but i don’t understand the whole “freshman 15” thing, like the stereotype that you gain weight in college. eating consistently in college is like impossible

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

>ask psychiatrist for stronger immediate relief anxiety med
>she prescribes me something saying it’ll work great
>look it up after
>it’s considered mild and takes weeks to work

THAT IS NOT WHAT I FUCKING ASKED FOR!!!!!!!

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

@war_alex101 @bigenderanged no that night ended with me vomiting in somebody’s yard

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

@hvrm_reduction @jwicals genuinely how do you get over this LMAOOO

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

everyone keeps saying all these anorexic celebrities are gonna die but the truth is you can live for a shocking amount of time at a lbmi if you have regular medical checkups and the occasional hospital visit, the people who are gonna die are their fans copying them

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

i miss my friends from forced recovery.. residential itself was awful but that was the closest i’ve ever felt to anybody

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

having an episode while im visiting my grandparents and have to be around them and act cheerful constantly im about to explode into a million pieces

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

i do not understand how people can live with their mistakes every mistake i’ve ever made no matter how small haunts me every day

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

and if i find some stimulants to abuse then it’ll be easy to lose a few pounds… im already on 20 mg adderall which tanks my appetite… it would be so easy to just relapse

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

i mean im bmi 19 rn, wouldn’t be too much trouble to just drop a few points… im gonna be in college so it’ll save me money too

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

maybe i’ll just get a little skinnier, bmi 16 or something… nothing crazy just skinny enough to be noticeable

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

somebody convince me not to relapse

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

guys bmi 14 is bad right. i was underweight i was a real anorexic i was that sick right.

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

how forced recovery feels

[istic- shedtwt @iwanttoseesarah]

felt really ashamed eating breakfast this morning and stopped halfway through, SHE’S COMING BACK