cwowe

very large. contains multitudes. | she / her, 26.

[cwowe @iyahbug]

folks, I’ve begun my lunch break and thus begin a new project: rating every apple variety I can conceivably purchase during fall.

[cwowe @iyahbug]

You HAVE to remember to add ten minutes to your commute as your “eat shit” budget

[cwowe @iyahbug]

“why have I been so afflicted with aching longing that seems to have no point or solution?” <- girl who keeps forgetting to take her SSRIs

[cwowe @iyahbug]

@pasta_pal Yeah it’s your icon in my contacts lmao

[cwowe @iyahbug]

blessed by the gods (brian my manager) with a half day

[cwowe @iyahbug]

EverCrisp:

[cwowe @iyahbug]

We return to apple gospel with today’s subject: the EverCrisp®️

The EverCrisp lives up to its name; it's hardy, sweet, tasty, and, of course, as crisp as a fall morning. I'm ignoring that it's 82 degrees. A child of the Fuji and honeycrisp, there is a whole lot to love…

[cwowe @iyahbug]

folks, I’ve begun my lunch break and thus begin a new project: rating every apple variety I can conceivably purchase during fall.

[cwowe @iyahbug]

McIntosh Apple (aka the McIntosh Red):

[cwowe @iyahbug]

Today: The McIntosh Apple.

The original MacIntosh computer was named for the McIntosh apple, and the Apple company logo now makes more sense to me. It's iconic, with its single bite. Let that be an omen, my friends. One fucking bite of this thing is more than enough.

[cwowe @iyahbug]

If you can critically analyze an apple - which of course I can, I'm on new adhd meds - has everything falls in this line. It's a simple, juicy, profitable, licensable, syrupy-sweet crowd-pleaser. Capitalism doesn't breed innovation; it breeds the EverCrisp. Total points: 71.

FR:

[cwowe @iyahbug]

We return to apple gospel with today’s subject: the EverCrisp®️

The EverCrisp lives up to its name; it's hardy, sweet, tasty, and, of course, as crisp as a fall morning. I'm ignoring that it's 82 degrees. A child of the Fuji and honeycrisp, there is a whole lot to love…

[cwowe @iyahbug]

…almost as if it was bred in a corporate lab to be lovable and profitable. Well, dear oomfie, that's exactly what happened. It is, after all, not the EverCrisp, but the EverCrisp®️

[cwowe @iyahbug]

almost missed the bus because I was making a funny image

[cwowe @iyahbug]

@umasthoughts @pasta_pal

[cwowe @iyahbug]

@pasta_pal Now imagine this but you have a little snack every morning. Something to break your fast.

[cwowe @iyahbug]

SO glad I will never willingly go cave diving

[cwowe @iyahbug]

I HAVE RECEIVED APPLE TRIBUTE! THANK YOU HANNAH!! MY GOSPEL SPREADS!

[cwowe @iyahbug]

Sure, it has its limited uses, but there are better options. I think it should be destroyed. Total points: 37.

Full rating below.

[cwowe @iyahbug]

Today: The McIntosh Apple.

The original MacIntosh computer was named for the McIntosh apple, and the Apple company logo now makes more sense to me. It's iconic, with its single bite. Let that be an omen, my friends. One fucking bite of this thing is more than enough.

[cwowe @iyahbug]

I couldn't be convinced to finish this. This is a mealy motherfucker with an in-your-face tartness and an aftertaste like chemical sweetner. The only reason I think people continue to grow it is for its use as applesauce, and that also feels like an apt comparison to the Mac.

[cwowe @iyahbug]

couldn’t eat an apple yesterday because I have a doctor’s appointment today