Uncle K.

💵

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

I should be hugged and pampered. 😌

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Uhm! That’s so nice of you, thank you. But I’m sorry I can’t accept money from strangers. 🫩
JazakilLahu bikhayr. 🤗

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Some Hausa girls do this.
A Hausa girl will give you every green light, lead you on, and make you fall for her. When you finally ask her out, she'll say yes because she genuinely likes you too.
But the moment she realizes you're deeply in love and treating her with genuine care and do everything to please her, she starts acting differently, poor communication, late replies, unnecessary attitude, flimsy excuses, and suddenly it feels like you're begging for love and attention.
I've noticed that some of them don't know how to respond to healthy love. They're so used to emotional distance or inconsistency that kindness feels unfamiliar to them. Very confused set of humans.

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Shall we make the weekend fun? 😉

https://t.co/zoy9RX2fdB

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Just because someone has a large following doesn't mean everything they post is sensible. Some people gained their followers by fooling around.

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Is ‘mind’ in the head or in the heart? 🤔

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

I bought the first bottle from an Igbo woman's shop on my street. When I got home and opened it, I didn't hear that usual "chusss" sound Coke makes, so I became suspicious. I checked the expiry date and realized it had expired just 10 days earlier.
I was reluctant to return it because she's a struggling small-scale business owner, and I didn't want to embarrass her or make people think badly of her. So I went back, asked to speak with her privately, and showed her the expired Coke. I told her to check the rest of the bottles in her fridge and stop selling any that had expired.
I paid for another bottle and left the expired one with her. I even joked that she could drink it herself since it was only 10 days past its expiry date. 😂
But as for me, na the second bottle be my spec sha. 🌚🫠

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Thank you, @WhatsApp 💚

So you meant it? Awesome. 👏

Go and create your username ASAP before you see “username not available. 😎

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Especially those that have more common names that are used all over the world, and who wants to create a brand or business name. Do it now. 😎

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

AlhamdulilLah for everything. 🤍

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

🥺🥰💘

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

📌

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

I love it when my babe say “can I call you”?
As in me? That special? 🥺

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Literally, there's almost no way a Nigerian can leave Abuja and travel to their home state without fearing they could be kidnapped, killed, or robbed before reaching their destination.
And now, one-chance robberies are back in full force within Abuja, alongside car theft and phone snatching. If people don't even feel safe in Abuja, then where in Nigeria can they truly feel safe?

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

😂🫢💔😂

[Sarah S. Yakub🌹 @Baseeerahh]

@khalid_iyal where you dey oooo!!😫

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Shekarun baya idan nayi broke, kuma na rasa yanda zanyi sai kawai in daina gaida yayye ne, kuma inta fushi. Sai kaji an fara “Malam Khalid yadai, garin koh jikin?”. 😂
Yanzu kuwa idan nayi fuska sai ma su riqa yin kamar basu san da zama na ba. They’ll pretend I don’t even exist. Haka zumunci ya lalace? 🥹

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Today is a bad day for me, sisters din friend dina da suka ganni a empty street babu kowa sai ni kadai ina tafiya ina shan fan ice din sachet koh a jiki na, saboda it was a dry street, but I suddenly bumped into them. Kunya ya kamani.
Yanzu again na dawo daga siyen abu a shop ina tafiya ina cin alawan/tuwon madara kawai muka qara haduwa da daya a cikin su, tace “yaya Uncle K ina yini”. I even stuttered before I replied her because of embarrassment. Yaya Uncle K in the mood. 🥹

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Take some. 🫴🏼

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

If there were an award for the most intellectually exhausting corner of Nigerian Twitter, a certain region would be leading by a landslide, but you didn't hear that from me. I still breathe the same air as them every day. We breed dullards every year because of our love for intimacy, and they're growing up to disgrace us more with each passing day.
Because, what’s this nonsense I’m seeing just because of this useless monetization? 🤔