Scott Lambe

husband, father, brother, son, bear, plumber, drummer.

[Scottish Banter @1scottishbanter]

Introducing the Scottish-American travel dictionary 🇺🇸🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

We’ve put together this guide to keep the Tartan Army out of trouble in the States.

Read carefully to avoid confusing the locals, deeply offending the country, or being interrogated by Homeland Security over a sandwich.

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

@visegrad24 British man from Scotland was attacked. Not Irish.

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

Bit of Polo 🐎

[10 News Queensland @10NewsQLD]

‘Willy’ the dog was born with a condition so rare that it has only been documented four other times in modern history.

The three-month-old Kelpie was born with diphallia and has since undergone surgery to remove a second penis.

More from 10 News Queensland: https://t.co/YBcaTHuAEH

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

Wit ?

[Nina Wysocka @realninawysocka]

A 22 yr old model, Sherri Vandersloot, has had a nose job so her future children will inherit her new nose rather than the one she was born with 🤨

“I don’t want my kids to grow up being teased like I was for my ugly nose. I want to pass down a more natural-looking nose to them.”

We’re actually cooked.

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

Alastair Johnston is exactly the player rangers need. Dirty fucking hard player. Com on hearts. ♥️

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

@Carl_Cox Brilliant story

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Activist: "Your cows are putting carbon into the atmosphere."

Farmer: "Where did they get it?"

Activist: "What?"

Farmer: "The carbon. Where did the cow get it before it put it anywhere."

Activist: "From... eating?"

Farmer: "From eating grass. And where did the grass get it."

Activist: "The soil?"

Farmer: "The air. The grass pulled it out of the air last spring. The cow ate the grass. The cow breathed some of it back out. It went back into the air it came from."

Activist: "But it's still going into the atmosphere."

Farmer: "It's going back. There's a difference between a thing going somewhere and a thing going back. You've described a circle and you're frightened of it."

Activist: "Then just don't have the cow."

Farmer: "The grass still dies in autumn. It rots where it falls. The carbon goes back into the air either way, just without anyone getting fed in the middle."

Activist: "It's not that simple."

Farmer: "It's grass, cow, breath, grass. Or it's grass, rot, air, grass. Same circle, fewer dinners. If that's complicated for you I'd stay away from the water cycle. That one's got clouds in it."

[Benonwine @benonwine]

Oh my god I haven’t laughed this hard in absolute ages 😭😂

Honestly whatever you’re doing right now… give this a watch and tell me this isn’t one of the funniest things you’ve seen all week. 🤣🤭

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

I would not let her him teach my kids https://t.co/f8T3y4GMFP

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

@hughes74069 @IrvineWelsh You’ve already got it in Scotland. Just no the brain eating ones.

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

Yep

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

Tune.

[𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐔𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 @thecasualultra]

🇳🇱 What a tribute… Carla, a laundry worker for 27 years at Dutch club Go Ahead Eagles, was honored with a tifo and pre-game presentation last night, before she retires at the end of the season 👏

Sometimes football is brilliant 🥹

[Sacha Tavolieri @sachatavolieri]

🇧🇪 Le football est trop facile pour Mika Godts. Allô Rudi Garcia ? 📞

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

@J12Thommy @rangersfcsa Boo hoo? Your the one’s crying. Absolutely embarrassing

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

What a result for Rangers going into the split. Here we go 🇬🇧

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

@AMcKellar89 It was a dive Andy.

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

@ibroxrocks @___thefamous Hopefully 🤞🏼

[Scott Lambe @iyermaw]

Keep believing