izzie driftwood

I enjoy whisky, good music, and anything that sparkles. I'm like a drunken, dancing magpie!!

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

Just spilled my martini on my martini pj pants, so that's about perfect for my week ...

[Meriel @MerielMyers]

Did you bring a stepladder by any chance?

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

Goddamnit Pixar #SoulMovie

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

@femmilhistory Um ... then why post like like you do?

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

@JJStealth @JDuren9 Weirdo

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

If this doesn't motivate you to vote #BidenHarris2020, NOTHING will.

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

White Supremacist Group Makes The #ProudBoys Hashtag A Thing, The Gay Community Hijacks It https://t.co/aQ5bCaOeKw via @boredpanda

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

@BNBuzz Clive Barker put it best: Every body is a book of blood; Wherever we're opened, we're red. (Hehehe)

[Matt Mitchell @ALostrich]

The worst part of 2020 ain’t even here yet. If Hurricane Nana reaches Category 5 she’s gonna make us pick our own hickory switch.

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

HOW DARE YOU #AJandtheQueen, I started salivating over a Bob Mackie museum. Sigh. Still enjoyed the snack out of this gem. BUT REALLY

[Catholic Democrats @CatholicDems]

This should be Twitter's motto, really.

[Steven Bourgeois 🌈🇺🇸 @bourst]

@AngrierWHStaff

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

Just watched @Pontifex issue the Palm Sunday mass and though like my time in Bolivia didn't understand it all, was comforting in these crazy days

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

@bethyoncepadtai RIGHT? #orangeiguanasforlife

[izzie driftwood @izedriftwood]

@bethyoncepadtai it finally happened. A piece of paper fell and got me straight across the neck. 😐

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I am giving up drinking for a month.

Sorry that came out wrong.

I am giving up. Drinking for a month.

[kcpolice @kcpolice]

Because this has been confused more times than you want to know:
* 1-800-BUTTERBALL is what to call if you want to know how to cook a turkey.
* 911 is what to call if you need immediate help from police, fire or ambulance
PSA: You should be thawing the turkey by now.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I just found out that “Aaarghh” is not a real word.

I can’t express how angry I am.

[Raleigh City Sports @RCitySports]

Hey @Canes how many retweets for NCFC legend and birthday boy @austindaluz to crank the siren?