izzardd

la boston u nyc columbia u

[shadon @pvrekhs]

they have to take kc to guantanamo

[Chris @citehchris]

you have met me at a very norwegian time in my life

[erla for 🇫🇷 @shefwluffy]

wtf is wrong with him

[liz 💥 @lizaboth]

5 nights a week at 8:35pm sharp #LoveIslandUSA

[The Resonance @Partisan_12]

Netanyahu tried to lie about Jesus, but the late Pope Francis corrected him.

NETANYAHU: "Jesus spoke Hebrew."

POPE FRANCIS: "[He spoke] Aramaic."

[jon repetti @pourfairelevide]

in Catholic high school we had to read the Bible straight through page-by-page in sophomore year and I gotta say I was surprised and amused by how all the good stories you’ve heard of happen in the first like 20 pages

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

I couldn’t leave Chicago without getting a cut from my old barber, Zariff!

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

Does he really think this will make him more appealing?

SICK FREAK

[Evan Roth Smith @TheRealERS]

Enough is enough. I was with Zohran on September 11th 2001. We were 9 years old at school in Morningside Heights.

By 9:30AM we realized something was really wrong, because the teachers looked scared and they had paused classes. They had us call our parents to come pick us up.

I remember looking at Zohran on his dinky Nokia phone with his dad, as I was on with mine. We both had the same look on our faces because we were realizing our dads were also scared. We were wide-eyed, frightened kids who didn't know the world was changing around us in that moment. We could hear fighter jets flying low over the Hudson.

I went home and got under the covers in my parents' bed. I bet Zohran did the same. The jets kept flying overhead as I watched the towers burn on TV, then collapse. The memory of that day is indelible, as it is for every New Yorker.

You can say whatever you want about Zohran and his politics. I have, both good and bad. But the sickening weaponization of September 11th against Zohran, who was just another scared kid on that day, isn't just beyond the pale. It's a betrayal of every child and adult who spent that day dizzy with fear and confusion.

No apology or retraction is sufficient.

[Laza🇨🇴 @Laza_Bautista]

Bout 250 Mexican kids in 10 years gonna have to explain why they named Shohei Rodriguez

[g @34rths]

I don't feel particularly proud of myself But I have a job and at least three friends so Girl whatever

[E🤍 @totallynotems_]

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their masters or in Japan

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

i said taylor swift’s new album sucks and i didn’t even get a single death threat from a swiftie. that’s how bad it is.

[Guardians Fan @Guards_fan]

@MattWalshBlog

[Jessicunt @jessicnnt]

this is what intimacy is about to me, the literal phenomenon of remembering ppl in ways they’ve forgotten themselves

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

GOOD NEWS PATRIOTS! WITH WASHINGTON SHUT DOWN, I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, AM NOW THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. MY PLATFORM IS VERY SIMPLE: HEALTH CARE FOR ALL AMERICANS (NO MEASLES!), FREE SCHOOL MEALS (WOW PUDDING FOR EVERYONE), FREE CHILDCARE (THE MOMS LOVE ME! MORE BABIES!!) GOOD-PAYING JOBS, AND NO MORE EVIL TARIFFS!!! EGGS WILL BE FREE. HAIR GEL SUBSIDIES WILL BE AVAILABLE (BUT ONLY FOR HANDSOME DEMOCRATS) AND WE WILL ALSO LEGALIZE CANNABIS! CRIME WILL STAY LOW AND EVERYONE WILL BE HIGH ON PATRIOTISM. AND NO MORE TICKETMASTER FEES (FOR THE SWIFTIES, FEES STAY FOR KID ROCK!) THEY WILL CHANT USA! USA! BECAUSE WE WILL BE BACK AND “HOTTER” THAN EVER BEFORE. THANK YOU! — GCN

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

I’m letting you know again.. stop playing with my kid btch.. you just mad cuz your son fav color is 5.. GET TF ON YOU CRACKHEAD

[trash jones @jzux]

this just restored 5 years to my life