Jon

The vacuum where I whisper my thoughts about you.
In some respectable form of rythmn, hopefully.

[Jon @j0nma]

Dear... E

[Jon @j0nma]

Legit question. Is this considered Haram if the man is Muslim?

[Mothership @MothershipSG]

M'sian man dies after motorcycle crashes into pig carcasses in Negeri Sembilan https://t.co/jYX7UKDI8o

[Jon @j0nma]

Insane.

[Jon @j0nma]

I dreamt of you last night.

It was vivd, it was almost realistic, it was everything I wanted.

But reality comes back to remind me that you shut me out, made me a villain, and turned your back on your promises.

Yet despite all that, my subconscious still wants you. Clearly.

[Jon @j0nma]

I'll be wishing you all the best from afar.

Go rock that field.

[Jon @j0nma]

Kyle Juszczyk has better hands than the Chiefs receivers.

[Jon @j0nma]

I'm reclaiming this space.

We shared the most beautiful evening here.

And when you abandoned me, the association of this place, made it really hard to come back.

But I will take back control. The memory lingers. But it's a memory. Not an obstacle.

[Jon @j0nma]

The missing you is stronger today.

It's ok to feel it.

And I will get through the heaviness.

[Jon @j0nma]

Damn....

[Mothership @MothershipSG]

M'sian girl, 5, dies after being left for 4 hours in car at hospital parking lot by her mum https://t.co/frwQAOOlIv

[Jon @j0nma]

Literally... 🥲

https://t.co/M6Zb0oZ6Wb

[Jon @j0nma]

What does it mean, when I just had some good news, and the first person I thought of sharing it with, was you?

Still you.

But I can't.

[Jon @j0nma]

You built me up, and up and up and up and up and up.

Then let me fall.

[Jon @j0nma]

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

Get the fuck out of my head.

[Jon @j0nma]

Flashbacks are especially stronger today.

I will get through this.

[Jon @j0nma]

I still do miss you.

There's a piece of me that I gave to you. Even though you probably discarded it. I will never get that smol-piece back.

But now, that missing is not heavy anymore. It's not depressive. It's accepted.

[Jon @j0nma]

Bucs D is rolling against the Eagles. (NFC East is OUTTTTTT!)

Yet they got trashed on by my Saints.

The NFL doesn't make sense.

Which is why I love it.

[Jon @j0nma]

This Lions DLine is scary as heck

[Jon @j0nma]

But I hope one day you'll be able to face those fears.
Find peace, not from running, but from acceptance, from understanding, and from courage.

A piece of me will always be with you, whether you like it or not. And that piece will have nothing but love and empathy towards you.

[Jon @j0nma]

I'm at peace now.

I have had time to go through all the emotions of guilt, shame, abandonment, desperation, depression, disappointment, confusion.

I gaslit myself to think that I was such a horrid person, that you would abandon and cut me off the way you did.

[Jon @j0nma]

I hope one day you'll have the time and courage to stop running, and think through all this.

I know it's difficult for you right now, from all that you've been through. We never got the chance to dig deeper into it together.