JEREMIAH ISRAEL

Live On No Evil

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Love is consequential

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

#teamshityourpants

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Never hurt a pumpkin.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Fuck you autocorrect. I mean what I wrote.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Welp is my mantra

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Yo it’s really easy to give yourself a black eye.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

@userbits Not sure cus just seeing this now. I guess it’s best not to care? I don’t know. No disrespect.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

@userbits Bad look bruh

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

I told someone that I should’ve been a standup comic and they asked me for a joke. “911 was an incest job,” and they didn’t laugh and said I needed to follow it up and I said, “no I don’t think I do.” They didn’t laugh but that was the joke.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Why the fuck am I so attracted to mental illness?

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Kermit the Frog set me up to fail.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

FYI yelling Trump 2024 as a joke is apparently not cool. People don’t understand sarcasm or satire anymore. All hail the NARRATIVE!!!

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Stranger: You look like Jeff Bezos.

Me: You look like you killed your husband with poison.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Having a cigarette in my ear and forgetting that I do and pulling out my pack for another is a continuous life fail.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

There is never a situation where I want to look at someone else’s phone. Keep your memes I’ve already seen to yourself.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Already lost count of how many times I’ve watched Terrifier and Terrifier 2. It’s the equivalent of an emotional support animal at this point.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Being Steph Curry is Abraham Lincoln’s karmic reward.

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

All bad things…
https://t.co/QSsdIiVmXP

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Bullshit blogging up on the website https://t.co/vjw0r8u128. 🖐️😵‍💫🤚 https://t.co/smNESByRJa

[JEREMIAH ISRAEL @jDOTis]

Keep the X in Xmas.