Gonzo Ball

Born & Raised in Verdansk

[Maryland Sports Report @MSRterps]

Getting Balogun off his red card just to look like we’ve never played before

[Qias Omar @QiasOmar]

You really had to be there…

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

I am officially nominating Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) for the Nobel Peace Prize.

No President in History has ended the same war so many times.

Our Dear Leader has ended the war with Iran at least 38 times by CNN’s count.

No President has ever done this before.

And he is nowhere near finished ending it.

It’s a record worthy of the Nobel committee’s recognition. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

[Ballsack Sports @BallsackSports]

The San Antonio Spurs have FIRED HC Mitch Johnson.

He is the first coach to be fired during an NBA Finals series.

[Ben Houselog @benlikessport]

New fantasy football punishment

Loser has to stand outside MSG in the opposing teams jersey after a Knicks loss

[hải liên 🌊🪷 kuvirakgae @moliathh]

nursing to white women is what being a cop is to white men

[Shams Charania @ShamsCharania]

Minnesota's Donte DiVincenzo has been diagnosed with a torn right Achilles tendon, sources tell ESPN. His season is over with a lengthy recovery. Devastating blow for the Timberwolves starting guard.

[Destiny Lugardo @destiny_lugardo]

This is best closer entrance. Nobody is beating this.

[𝖄𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖊𝖊 @Be_like_yankee]

Smelling weed in public for me is like smelling the little baked pie on the windowsill in cartoons I can't lie

[Van Lathan Jr @VanLathan]

They want LeBron

[tyron @Liquidicat]

Me in 2009 instead of buying Bitcoin for $1

[Corn ✧⍣ @cornski]

this fryin me cuz what the FUCK does erika kirk know bout the air force

[Rathbone @_rathbone]

Decisions, decisions…

[Grandpa Snarky @GrandpaSnarky]

I owe my Trump-supporting friends an apology. I’ve been critical of the Trump presidency and am still exhausted from the experience. But to be fair, President Trump wasn’t that bad, other than when:
He incited an insurrection against the government
Mismanaged a pandemic that killed nearly half a million Americans
Separated children from their families, and lost those children in the bureaucracy
Tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church
Tried to block all Muslims from entering the country
Got impeached, got impeached again
Had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history
Pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden
Fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia
Bragged about firing the FBI director on TV
Took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community
Diverted military funding to build his wall
Caused the longest government shutdown in US history
Called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate"
Lied 30,000 times
Banned transgender people from serving in the military
Ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions
Vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers
Refused to release his tax returns
Increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion
Had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history
Called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers
Coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist
Refused to concede the 2020 election
Hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House
Walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl
Called neo-Nazis “very fine people”
Suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID
Abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey
Pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans
Incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic
Withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords
Withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal
Withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances
Insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter
Pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op
Failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies
Called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries
Called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation"
Claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere
Forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader
Believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize
Berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe
Suggested the US should buy Greenland
Colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges
Repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people"
Claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases
Violated the emoluments clause
Thought that Namibia was a country
Told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public
Called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution
Nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet
Nominated a corrupt head of the EPA
Nominated a corrupt head of HHS
Nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department
Nominated a corrupt head of the USDA
Praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies
Refused to allow the presidential transition to begin
Insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death
Spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president
Falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote
Falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year
Considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions
Mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID
Locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones
Used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus"
Hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser
Pardoned several of his shady associates
Gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories
Got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!)
Had a Secretary of State who called him a moron
Forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history
Botched the COVID vaccine rollout
Tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him
Charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties
Constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate
Claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear
Called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas"
Used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise
Opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling
Got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers
Claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US
Ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings
Blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining
Redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle
Got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters"
Threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution
Botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico
Threw paper towels and toilet paper at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them
Pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes
Thought that the Virgin islands had a President
Drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane
Allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing
Rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos
Pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID
Rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers
Held blatant campaign rallies at the White House
Tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man
Refused to attend his successors’ inauguration
Nominated the worst Education Secretary in history
Threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted
Attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci
Promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t)
Allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues
Struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble
Called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ"
Threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders
Went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic
Claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts"
Seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution
Demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director
Praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles
Completely gutted the Voice of America
Placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service
Claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower
Suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country
Suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public
Overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported
Reduced the number of refugees the US accepts
Insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames
Gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address
Named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties
Eliminated the White House office of pandemic response
Used soldiers as campaign props
Fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him
Demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade
Hired a ton of white nationalists
Politicized the civil service
Did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government
Falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts
Claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won
Insulted reporters of color and women reporters and women reporters of color
Suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs
Attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him
Summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election
Spent countless hours every day watching Fox News
Refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas
Hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer
Tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him
Acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney
Attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault
Held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present
Didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media
Stopped holding press briefings for months at a time
"Ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power
Led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform
Claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers
Tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course
Suggested that the government nuke hurricanes
Suggested that wind turbines cause cancer
Said that he had a special aptitude for science
Fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure
Blurted out classified information to Russian officials
Tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida
Fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban
Hired Stephen Miller
Openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them
Interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel
Abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war
Tried to get Russia back into the G7
Held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden
Seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive
Lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated
Falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t
Shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies
Still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan
Still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks"
Forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID
Told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by"
F***ed up the Census
Withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic
Did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings"
Allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act
Seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican
Stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win
Constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump
Claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened
Said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake
Claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him
Claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President
Created a commission to whitewash American history
Retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain
Claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there
Hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims
Had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others
Bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties
Apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House
Stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians
Falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police
Said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about
Gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic
Tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax
Said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states
Deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented
Claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln
Touted a “super-duper” secret “hypersonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all
Retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile
Forced through security clearances for his family
Suggested that police officers should rough up suspects
Suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs
Tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender
Suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher
Nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy
Retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “F**k tha Police” at a campaign event
Hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags
Accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address
Claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia
Mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasely Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault
Was proven to be close friends with the biggest sexual predictor of young girls
Obsessed over low-flow toilets
Ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release
Called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek)
Hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech
Took advice from the MyPillow guy
Claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists
Said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure
Never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign
Falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent
Announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest
Insulted the leaders of Canada, France, Britain, Germany, and Sweden!!
Falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues
Blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually
Continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders
Said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked
Left a NATO summit early in a huff
Stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that
Called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary
Refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment.
And that was just his FIRST term. Do I need to list what's happened since then??????
Whoever wrote this deserves credit but I don't know who it is..

[Former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 @FmrRepMTG]

My goodness, what is in the Epstein files?

Release all the files.

It’s literally the law.

[JD Vance @JDVance]

Remember when we learned that our wealthiest and most powerful people were connected to a guy who ran a literal child sex trafficking ring? And then that guy died mysteriously in a jail? And now we just don't talk about it.

[Decision Desk HQ @DecisionDeskHQ]

Decision Desk HQ projects Mikie Sherrill to win the New Jersey Governor election.

#DecisionMade: 8:13 pm ET

Follow live results on our website.

[Cole Sandick🌹🇵🇸🇺🇦🇸🇩 @ColeSandick]

I’m not joking when I say this might be the greatest collective psychosis I’ve seen, since like January 6th. There are petitions circling to get Starbucks to name a drink after him, a law in Oklahoma demanding that every public college build a statue of him. We’re in outer space.